Sleeping in The Wet Spot

It's Not Even My Birthday, But He Wanna Lick the Icing Off

2012-02-01T10:42:00.000-08:00

Figured a fat guy dancing to this song would be better than just staring at a still photo of Rihanna. I got a few chuckles out of it at least.

I Thought Wet Dreams Were Myths

2012-01-24T15:44:00.000-08:00

Last night, I awoke to my boyfriend getting out of bed awkwardly (as in trying not to touch the sheets where he was lying), and he proceeds to get some tissue, without realizing that I had already woken up by him moving out of bed. I just assumed he woke up horny and masturbated, but since he usually doesn't cum on the sheets, I had other thoughts. So, I asked him if he had a wet dream? And he's like oh, you caught me, how embarrassing. I imagine if he found out that I wrote about this here, he would probably kill me, or well yea, kill me.

I told him that he must have had a pretty damn good dream, and he proceeds to say it started off with his parents (awkward moment), and then it led into another dream of him and his Star Wars: The Old Republic companion Vette, or a Twi'lek character in general, in which they were forced to have sex. I had hoped it would have been about me if he's going to have spontaneous orgasms, but I guess this means I need to cut off his Star Wars time, because Vette is trying to take over as the better companion in his subconscious!

That bitch.

Now he's going to make it more realistic and fuck his blue fleshlight, and pretend its really Vette or imagine that's what her poon looks like. It is alien after all. I suppose one shouldn't be jealous, since I actually got it for him, but this is just weird.

Too weird.

hah.

Shameless: I Will Suck Dick for Alcohol

2012-01-24T00:04:00.000-08:00

Anything that is broadcasted on premium channels is bound to be good, am I right? There are the occasional doozy's, but this is definitely not one of them.

My boyfriend and I were introduced to this hilarious dramatic comedy by the friend who always gets us into television shows and I couldn't thank his nerdy ass more!

I used to think that my family was fucked up, but the Gallagher's take the cake in this series. The father is an alcoholic douche who will suck dick and take it up the ass in order to get a quick drunken fix. The mother split. The children pretty much fend for themselves, which include paying all the household bills by any means necessary. One of the sons is gay, the other is black, but it came back positive that Frank (William H. Macy) was the father and that their mother was the mother. Don't ask me how 2 white people can make a colored baby, but hey maybe it was from all the dick he sucked and then shot it in his wife while having oral sex. Hey, you never know with this show; anything is possible!

They have no shame in their game, and do whatever it takes to survive. And this is why Shameless rocks.

If you like dysfunctional, sex, and comedy all wrapped into one, then this my friend is the series for you!

Review: Real Feel Vibrating Penis Enhancer

2012-01-20T14:10:00.000-08:00

I was contacted by Erotic Toy Town to do a review for them, and I of course agreed. So, they sent me the Real Feel Vibrating Penis Enhancer, which not only enhances, but is great to use as a penis extension. I figured since I have not reviewed penis enhancers yet, why not give it a chance? I knew my boyfriend wouldn't mind since he's perfectly fine in doing whatever to please me.

We ended up using it the first night we got it, and I must say it was rather amusing watching my boyfriend try and figure out how to get the sleeve around his dick with a condom on.

I hear, "Shit!!" And he explained that the condom broke as he put the sleeve around it. So the next time, he put the sleeve on around his penis first, then the end ring around his balls, which took a little time since he didn't lube his dick up, and then stretched it as far as possible at the tip so that he could maneuver and put the condom on that way. It was a success!

I took one look at his dick and shrieked in horror once it was on. It looked like a summer sausage and I said no way is that thing going to go in me. "That'll be the last time I hear that," he says. Okay, maybe I exaggerated, but it looked like it was going to be painful. I told him he better lube that shit up down there and he obliged. He's already the perfect size, so adding 5/16th of an inch girth, with 5" insertable length from this sleeve to his penis looked like a real bad idea.

Once we got things going...

I was so hot and ready that once he was in me, I was fine. It only hurt a little, but I made him go slow at first to accommodate the thickness. The top of the sleeve has a spot to insert a vibrating bullet, which was awesome since it was powerful enough to help me cum, and fast too! I'm not sure if the vibrations brought him sensations, but I'm assuming no since he never mentioned it to me. One thing I didn't particularly like about the bullet, is that it takes N batteries, which are watch batteries and can be rather expensive to replace.

However, this sleeve is a little different than any other sleeve I have seen, since there's an opening at the top for males to get stimulation to the head of their penis from vaginal contact. Because of this, my boyfriend had no problem cumming.

Overall, I still prefer the real thing over anything rubber, but that's because I am partial to his lovely hunk of meat.

Read My Post and Give Me All Your Monies!

2012-01-18T20:10:00.000-08:00

I feel like I can't breathe this week. The weekend started off completely horrible, and on top of my horrible weekend, I had a shit ton of acute care notes to type out that was too daunting of a task and I had to finish them up on Monday.

So here I am, sitting with a ginormous headache, because I am on this stupid diet with low portioned meals, and have to stare at the computer all day in order to get my homework finished. And all I can really think about is how I need to post more often on the wet spot.

School has begun to utterly suck, and I am dreading it. I've only done it for 3 and a half months now. If am dreading the school work, what about the profession I have chosen? Sounds like I am doomed no matter what.

If only I was good enough to make millions of dollars through my blog.

I need to start brainstorming and come up with something new and fresh that hasn't been around the block a thousand times like a two dollar whore.

Until then, I will keep posting stupid skanky shit that you will hopefully continue to read.

Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Lingerie?

2012-01-17T10:42:00.000-08:00

I don't think its possible to have too much lingerie, that's why I decided to order a couple more pieces from EdenFantasys a few weeks ago, since it not only improves my romantic time, but my confidence in feeling sexy.

Well to my surprise, both pieces made me feel the exact opposite. Never judge an item by a picture online. My boyfriend always tells me to not purchase clothing or shoes online, since you never know if it will fit correctly. Do you think I listen? Hell no. Sometimes you just have to go with it, because you never know if you will find it in a local store anywhere.

But no, the Nude Affair Lingerie Set and the Red Moonlight Magic Gown had to be a complete and utter fail for me. The Nude Affair piece is like a see through robe, with a patching panty and bra, which by the way gives you cone boobs like in that one Madonna video. And if you haven't gathered, cone boob is not sexy. Then the robe fit like a tent and was very unflattering. I couldn't even tie it together because there was too much extra material, and I can't exactly order a size smaller, or otherwise the bra wouldn't fit, since it's already small enough. BTW it does not support the boobies. Overall, I am not happy at all with that one, especially for the price.

Then you have the Red Moonlight Magic Gown. From the picture, it looked like it wasn't see through, which wasn't the case from its black version. I only judged it by the photo, so that is why I chose the red, otherwise I would have definitely gotten black had I known it was severely see-through. It was not my cup of tea to say the least, since I could see all my pudge, and bulges peeking through, which were taunting me with its fatty words. HI, HI, I KNOW YOU SEE ME, BECAUSE I SEE YOU.

Needless to say, I took it off and threw it on the floor, where its still laying to this day. Maybe next time I will have better luck, but my last order was just not it.

EdenFantasys, an online retailer of sex toys, provided me with a gift card in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own.

True Blood Star Shows His Stackhouse in the Picture Leak!

2012-01-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

I won't even make you hit a jump break to see this magnificent specimen of a man Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten); instead you get it instantly!

Some speculate this is a fake, but it looks an awfully lot like him, unless someone photoshopped his head onto this man's body. Somehow I'm doubting that though.

You get to see a lot of him in True Blood as the fans know, and now you get to enjoy every inch below without the approval of HBO, Thanks to RantsThoughtsMerde's find.

Sexy TKO Total Knockout Costume

2012-01-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend is a fan of sports and partakes in jiu jitsu classes, as I have mentioned before. So when I seen this Sexy TKO Total Knockout Costume, I just had to have it to show my sportsmanship, even though its boxing and not jiu jitsu. Close enough, right?

He's always asking me to roll around with him for practice, and to learn some technique and tricks myself. He even wants me to join his gym and do a family plan, but the awkwardness of having my crotch or some other guys peen in my face is not really appealing.

Anyways, so I figured to get him off my back for a little while, I could roll around with him in this costume, and who knows, it may lead to some naughty TKO, that I would most likely win.

This costume is true to size, and features a stretch knit tank top with Knockout printed across the front, a pair of booty shorts with a metallic red star waistband and gold trim around the legs, a skirt with metallic red star side panels and a gold trim hem, a hooded robe with a belt that is also trimmed in stars, a pair of boxing gloves and a gold CHAMP belt. You get 7 pieces for one hell of a deal!

The gloves look like oven mitts when you have them on, until you make a fist -- so that's kind of cheesy. But, I guess I can always find real ones for cheap at goodwill or some other consignment store. In addition, the tank top was a bit short on my long torso, so I added a black tank top underneath. BTW, I am 5'11".

All in all, this costume was fun and I plan on using it a lot more when my boyfriend wants to "train" with me. ;)

If this doesn't appeal to you, there's lots more to choose from like, adult costumes, children's costumes, pet costumes, and sexy plus size costumes.

Good Head Holiday Sampler Set

2011-12-30T06:31:00.000-08:00

I had high hopes for the Good Head Holiday Sampler Set from TabuToys. The package comes with six .25fl. oz of gel packs of Good Head gel. There are three strawberry and three mint flavors to choose from. When it arrived I really assumed my Darling would be all for it but he had no interest in me using this product on him. It took a few days of taunting and teasing before he finally gave in. Getting into the tiny packs was annoyingly difficult. The lesson learned is to always have scissors near by and do not try your teeth or a knife.

I tried the Strawberry flavor first. It was horrible. It tasted like medicine a bit. Not the death-kissed Robitussin flavor but still really gross. I made sure not to use too much as this product can be very messy. I used enough to cover the tip of his cock and then spread a thin strip down his shaft as I licked it off. I licked and sucked and let it drip down my chin. That was a bad idea as this stuff is really sticky. Not only did it taste bad but the extra stickiness of it made clean up a bigger hassle than expected. The mint one tasted better than the strawberry in my opinion, but still had the same mess.

Unfortunately, this product was a miss for me.

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the Good Head Holiday Sampler Set free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the right sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

New Year's Eve Drinks?

2011-12-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

I have been searching the net, hoping I would stumble across a fantastic drink for New Years that doesn't contain champagne and I am absolutely clueless. Nothing pops up, except the same ol shit that I'm used to drinking like; long islands, adios motherfuckers, white russians. I don't want something boring, I want something new and different. So I ask you guys, do you have any special drinks you're making for New Years other than the norm?

What do you recommend, leave the drink name in the comments for me. Pretty please!

Lelo Seasons Greetings Kit: Siri/Intimo Gift Set (Review)

2011-12-28T18:04:00.000-08:00

As I previously mentioned in a couple of my posts, I tested out the LeloSeasons Greetings Kit: Siri/Intimo Gift Set from TabuToys since it wasfestive enough to be a holiday treat! The LELO Seasons Greetings Kit comes withthe Siri Vibrator and the Intimo Red Silk Blindfold, which is Lelo's mostpowerful vibrator to date and can be used for an allover body experience. Haveyour man, or woman tie your hands and put the luxurious blindfold over youreyes, so you can indulge in the sensational pleasures in a submissive way.

I on the other hand experienced this in a drunken stupor the first time, whichresulted in me passing out with the vibrator still going on one of the sixpatterns on my clit. It wasn't woo'ing me then, but I surely got my rocks offthe second time around. One particular pressure-building pattern from the LeloSiri was to die for, literally. I knew what to expect from this toy, since Ihave the Lelo Mona, which has similar patterns and vibrations, only the LeloSiri is pocket size and transportable in small places, like your purse.

Lelo Siri is ABS plastic and silicone, which means its non-porous all over.The silicone at the tip has a velvety feel, and is non-squishy, so when youapply pressure to your clit or nipples, it won't be molding into you. Thehandle is hard plastic and very sleek/smooth feeling. However, just rememberthe silicone part will collect lint, so you must make sure you wash it beforeand after use. In addition, it’s not waterproof, so you'll need tobe careful when washing it, so you don't get water into the plugin part of thetoy, otherwise it will no longer charge.

Before using the Lelo Siri, you'll have to charge her for 2 hours to charge,and you'll result in 4 hours of play time, which is a lot less than most toysthat require charging.

I never got around to acting out with the Lelo Intimo Blindfold on, but the silk is amazing and it looks downright sexy when applied. The elastic is not going to break or stretch out upon multiple uses, as I assume its industrial strength, so it will go back to the way it was as if you just opened it. The Lelo Intimo Blindfold also applies tight on your eyes, so you cannot peak or see the light of day, as intended. Some people might not like the pressure when wearing, but I feel its workable.

All in all, I really enjoyed this set and can't wait to collect more Lelo products, maybe the Lelo Tiani next?

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the Lelo Seasons Greetings Kit: Siri/Intimo Gift Set free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Getting Confused for a Stripper

2011-12-27T10:37:00.000-08:00

Remember my previous post Booze, Strippers and Making Love? Well, when I went to the bar, I wore one of my new corsets I purchased from EdenFantasys, and even got confused for being one of the strippers by 2 drunk guys standing by the bathroom. That to me was quite hilarious, and I chuckled a bit. The strippers that were pissing in the bathroom stall with no door, probably thought I was crazy.

Anyways...

I loved the Black and Nude Corset. It gave my titties support, and it held everything in place without being painful or suffocating to the inside organs. It had a lot of stretch to it, so much so that I was able to slip it on over my head, all while having it fastened with the hook and eye closure in the back. I think the black ruffle along the top and bottom of the corset added a nice flirty and frilly touch, and it went perfect with some black jeggings and a bolero. There are 2 bows on the corset that are attached by a safety pin, so I just removed those before heading out the door. Would be cute if I could attach the bows to a bobby pin and wear it in my hair, since I'm gangsta like that. But, hopefully they start adding accessories on there, so I don't have to.

EdenFantasys, an online retailer of sex toys, provided me with a gift card in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own.

Booze, Strippers, and Making Love

2011-12-25T00:17:00.001-08:00

On Friday night, my boyfriend and I decided to go to our usual bar and have a couple drinks, and eat dinner since we didn't really feel like cooking after being in the grocery store til late, with the masses of people rushing to get their holiday shopping done.

We text a friend to see what he's up to, since we had no plans after that, and he mentioned he was going to a strip bar. My boyfriend got the bright idea that we should head there afterwards, but I was a bit hesitant because I had never been to a strip bar before, and I wasn't drunk enough to feel comfortable in one. Well after about 2, 34oz mixed drinks, I was feeling pretty damn good and told him okay, let's do it!

We went home, I changed my clothes and fixed my face and off we were. My boyfriend was freaking out in the car a little bit since he I actually agreed to going. I guess he doesn't like the idea of me watching him, watch naked girls strut their stuff around. Normally, I would say hell fucking no, you're crazy, but we only live once, might as well go enjoy ourselves some times.

I had thought I would feel weird seeing girls walk around topless, let alone panty-less, but I was completely fine. My boyfriend and his friend told me that this isn't like any normal strip club, because most keep their panties on, but this place was like the strip joints of all strip joints, with girls rubbing their pussies on your face without even being paid for it, grinding, bouncing, and jumping on your dick, sucking the titties of the ladies in the audience, and performing oral sex on each other on stage. HOLY SHIT, was I in for a shock to the system! It was like watching real life porn, only somewhat better, but awfully short.

They ended up going up to the stage seats to get a closer view of the girls, and I just sat back and watched them watch. My boyfriend felt awkward staring, since he kept looking over at me every 5 seconds. I think he felt like he couldn't enjoy it with me being there, or just staring at him in general to make sure he behaves himself. One girl ended up getting on his lap and grinding a bit, and when she was done, he came back over and said, "See, I have no boner." So, I felt his pants and alas, no hard on. But I know that it was because she wasn't me. Only I have that grinding touch to make him insta-hard.

We all decided that we should probably go because we were tired of seeing the same poon going in rotation over and over, and felt the drinks we were way overpriced ($10 for a 16oz Adios Motherfucker? I can get twice as much for $12), so we headed to the bar we started at. We had a couple more drinks at the anchor and decided to call it a night since it was getting close to closing time.

On the car ride home, my boyfriend unzips his pants, which was an obvious queue for me to get my lips around his cock as fast as possible. I don't deny him, and do as he wishes, since its kind of hot doing it in the car where others could potentially see you. The car ride was short, so it didn't last long.

We get back home, and I immediately go grab my red satin sex blanket and lay it on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. We turn the fireplace on and turn off the lights, to set the romantic tone for the rest of the evening. We never really celebrated our 6 year anniversary that took place on the 9th of December, so he poured us both a glass of wine and we laid on the floor and talked a little bit before we started the naughty romp. I was horny, and couldn't wait to indulge in such pleasure, so he proceeded to move his hot lips down to my pussy to get things started. One thing he knows is that I LOVE ORAL, especially from him since he does it so passionately. We decide a 69 position is in order, so I get on top and put my pussy right in his face, and start swirling my tongue around the top of his dick to tease him. Then I lick it up and down like its a dripping ice cream cone, and put my mouth slowly over the top and go down really fast, making sure to protect his penis from teeth, with my lips. I'm grinding his face and have a hard time focusing on his penis, since his tongue feels so damn good on my pussy.

We turn over and get in the missionary position. We make love like no other, when he enters me, kissing passionately, staring into each others eyes. I'm squeeze and grab his ass, all while kissing his neck and shoulder, as he thrusts into me over and over. It must have been more enticingly hot to do it in front of the fireplace because the first round didn't last that long.

I started giving him oral the second time around to get him good and ready for round 2. It doesn't take much sucking, and licking to get him back in the mood. I turn around and move my right leg over him to get into the cowgirl position and proceed to fuck him slowly, as he watches my every move. He loves this position, but most of the time it doesn't work unless we're on flat ground. He says "I love your ass baby, and seeing myself inside you." That gets me hot, but not enough to push me over the edge into an orgasm fit. After a while, I decided to switch myself to the normal on top position, so that he can play with my titties. I start going faster, faster, and faster, until he just can't take it anymore. I love knowing that I have control over how fast he cums with my rhythmic motions, and pussy. I didn't even care if I came at that point. I wanted to pleasure him, since he's always pleasuring me in the same position over and over, that of which is the only one I've been able to cum in; missionary.

After I made him cum for the second time, we both decided it should be bed time since its 4am. He stays and passes out in front of the fireplace, and I go up to bed since its more comfortable. I grabbed my new Lelo toy and turn it on to try it out and put it on my clit. I remember switching the vibration settings a couple times and notice that it didn't feel all that pleasurable. I may not have had it on a high speed setting, but after having those thoughts not so pleasurable thoughts, I guess I ended up falling asleep.

The next morning, I notice that the toy is on the counter in the master bathroom, so I asked my boyfriend if he put it there since I have no recollection of doing it. He said he heard a vibrating sound when he went over to my side of the bed to turn off the lamp, and checked underneath the covers, and seen that I still had the vibrator on, and on my clit nonetheless. I started busting up laughing since that is the first time I've ever done anything strange like that. I must have been really hammered, because the toy couldn't even get me off, nor keep me awake.

I'm still chuckling every time I think about it.

Who the fuck falls asleep masturbating with a vibrator? Me, that's who.

Winner of Naughty for Christmas Giveaway Announced

2011-12-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

The Winner has been announced, and I'm still waiting on a reply. They have another 24 hours to respond or else I pick another winner. You can check out who won on the giveaway post, by looking on the rafflecopter widget.

Wake Me Up With Oral Sex

2011-12-17T02:32:00.000-08:00

Last week I went and seen one of my favorite bands of all time and had the absolute time of my life. We ended up having a few drinks.. okay more like 6, so I was feeling pretty fucking good and got really into it when they came on stage. Most of the time when I go to functions I usually get anxiety if I don't drink alcohol to help loosen me up. But not this time, I wanted to have fun seeing Spineshank. I just wished it lasted a little longer than they performed, but it was a small venue and they're not really mainstream, so it was kind of expected. After the concert was over we get back home and my boyfriend and the 2 friends we went with decided to drink more, but I know my limit until I have to go pray to the porcelin gods, that of which I tend to push occasionally. So I end up going to bed about an hour or two later cause I'm drunk off my ass and no longer have the willpower or adrenalin to stay up any longer.

I pass out probably instantly and then realize that someone is now underneath the covers licking my pussy. I wasn't expecting to be awaken by such naughtiness, but it was a nice surprise. I turn over to look at the time and it's 6am. My babe stayed up all night singing on rockband because he likes the sound of his own voice, then finally decided it was fucky fucky time.

I wished he did things like that more often since it's awesome to be awoken with such pleasure. I would recipricate the favor, but he tends to run low on sleep so he would probably be grouchy if I did.

Anyways, he's licking my pussy, and it probably took me a good couple minutes to realize it wasn't a dream.

It felt so good, and so real that it couldn't be.

He may have a small tongue that I tease him about occasionally, but he knows how to use it, especially between my thighs.

I was drunk though, so it probably took a good 30 minutes before I climaxed. I don't even know if I got off completely or not, since I was so drunk. But, I do remember him sticking his dick in my pussy and fucking me until I was sore! I almost had to beg him to hurry up and get off, since he tends to take longer when he's intoxicated as well.

When we were all finished, he looked down at his dick as he pulled out and noticed the condom was wrapped around it, and not on it. He swears he didn't take it off and put it like that, but I don't know how else it would have gotten like that. /shrug. Weird drunken moment.

Then a couple hours later, we had to get up because my boyfriend decided to do all of this on a work night, and the day we have to drive 2 hours, so that I can go down to my sisters to stay. We're too old for staying up that late! But we survived nonetheless.

More adventures to come...

Want Free K-Y Jelly?

2011-12-15T20:49:00.000-08:00

You can get FREE K-Y Jelly by printing this $3 off 1 K-Y Jelly product and using it at Walmart. They are priced at $2.62, and you will get .38 cents overage to boot.

Not bad if you're in need of some for your freaky sexipades! Could even use it as a naughty stocking stuffer or a gag gift. ;)

Butterfly Kiss Dual Vibrator Review

2011-12-15T15:33:00.000-08:00

Once again, I was lucky enough to help out with another reviewfor SITWP. When the package containing thenewest product hit my door step, I was already finding batteries for it. I received the pink Butterfly Kiss Dual Vibrator from Babeland.com.

The vibrator came in an easy to open, flat plasticpackaging. I liked that you could popthe packaging back together for an easy storage option for the toy. This way, you would never have to worry aboutthe toy getting dirty in between uses. Upontaking the toy out of the packaging I noticed it was very soft and flexible. It was lightweight and the base unscrewswhere two AAA batteries go. Also, thetoy is splash proof. To turn on thevibration, there is a small button at the bottom of the base that you have topush in. There are three levels ofintensity and each time the button is pushed, it takes you to the nextvibration mode.

According to Babeland.com, the Butterfly Kiss is, “A very goodthing in a small package.” They are absolutelycorrect. The toy is priced at $17.00 onBabeland’s website and is definitely worth it. Sex toys can be very expensive and we know that everyone likes to save adollar or two. The toy is veryinexpensive but it definitely delivers a bang for your buck...literally. All three settings of vibration were powerfuland the flexibility of the toy allowed me to insert it in my vagina, and bendit at the same time, allowing myself to stimulate my clit any way Iwanted. The first two settings are relativelyquiet but I will warn you that the third, and most powerful setting, is a bitloud. I would refrain from trying to usethis toy when you’re trying to be discrete.

The Butterfy Kiss has a rating of 4 out of 5 stars out of 98reviews on Babeland’s website. I’ve readthrough a majority of the reviews and I couldn’t believe the number of goodthings that were said about this toy. Mostof the comments agree that this is one of the best toys because of its designand its low price. One woman even made acomment about how the butterfly actually feels like a suction cup on top of herclit. Unfortunately, I did not have thatexact experience but, trust me when I say that I was not let down. I have no problem saying that this is easilymy new favorite toy.

So far, I have only used the Butterfly Kiss by myself but, withthis toy you really don’t need anyone’s assistance. The design of the butterfly’s wings allows itto encompass the entire area around your clit while the antennas of thebutterfly vibrate on top. In allhonesty, I came within a few minutes of the toy on the most powerfulsetting. The toy worked so well thatabout ten minutes later I ran back to my bedroom to do it again. Some advice though, don’t push too hard. When it comes to sex toys, I have a tendencyto like very hard intense vibrations on my clit. With this toy, I’ve found that you less youdo, the more you’ll get to feel the sensations of the butterfly better. That is what I liked the most about this toy.

Overall, this is the perfect toy for someone looking to notbreak bank when buying a new sex toy. TheButterfly Kiss is very inexpensive and works like a charm. I would recommend this toy for anyone. Whether you’re a seasoned vet when it comesto sex toys or a beginner, you’ll love this item. Christmas is coming…. Anyone on your naughtylist you haven’t bought for yet???

This post was brought to you by Dalia from Thoughts Made of Glitter.

Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit Review

2011-12-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

Hey there. You know, a lot of men have a problem satisfying a lady. It's ok, it happens to the best of us. Maybe you just had an off night. Maybe you were too excited that you got off way too early. Or maybe, just maybe, you have a problem. No big deal. There's all kinds of crap that you can take that will help give you a hard on for hours! But really, would you rather take pills or would you rather have some practice? We all know the saying, give the man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, and feed him for life. Well, my friends, those pills are fish and the Stamina Training Unit (STU) Fleshlight is your brand new fishing pole!

A Fleshlight is a pussy in a flashlight type case. It's discreet, you can take it in the shower, take it into bed, and it's way better than some half assed sized doll. The fleshlight is the man's new best friend. But we're not here to talk about finding a cool way to get off though. The STU is an extremely well made device to help stay stronger and last longer in bed.

The fleshlight has two parts to it. The soft, fleshy part and the case that holds it. The STU Fleshlight has unique bumps and ridges inside that help stimulate when you're inside of it. It's really easy to put together. You grab the long, fleshy part and insert it into the casing. Bam!!! It's now ready for action.

The purpose of the STU Fleshlight is to help you last longer in bed. After lubing up and giving it a go, you know it's no joke when you feel ready to cum after a minute or so. You MUST use water based lube or you will ruin your fleshlight! I can't stress that enough! The bumps and ridges inside stimulate the hell out of you and the unique suction action that Fleshlight provides just puts you over the top! The idea is to learn to control your self. Mind over penis! Lol By practicing and learning to be in charge, you'll be able to last longer in bed. 10 minutes in the STU will guarantee you at least 20 minutes inside a woman.

You can either lube up and go at it or you can warm it up for a more realistic feel. By submerging the pussy in warm water, the fleshlight takes a more human feel. And if you cum inside of it, it's no big thing. You can take it apart and run warm water through it to clean it out. Just make sure that it dries completely before putting it back in the case.

The wife felt a little intimidated by it at first. A pussy that won't complain when it's sore or tired, I can see why she would feel that way but the fleshlight can be used during foreplay. A few strokes in the fleshlight with a few strokes with the tongue is an awesome combo and I strongly suggest couples try it.

Fleshlights are pretty damn awesome and the STU Fleshlight will not disappoint. It feels great and it's an awesome way to increase your stamina. It's a great addition to any sex toy set! Explore that wild side and get busy, friends. Later!

You can find more posts by Metallman by checking out his personal blog.

Naughty for Christmas Giveaway

2011-12-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I couldn't get more items added to this list in time to make it to you before Christmas, so I'm going to start the giveaway with the two items I have requested just for you guys. One of which is holiday oriented LELO Seasons Greetings Kit: Siri/Intimo Gift Set from TabuToys, and the other is a brand spanking new toy, called Lelo Tiani, and is brought to you by Babeland.

The LELO Seasons Greetings Kit comes with the Siri Vibrator and the Intimo Red Silk Blindfold, which is Lelo's most powerful vibrator to date and can be used for an all over body experience. Have your man, or lady tie your hands and put the luxurious blindfold over your eyes, so you can indulge in the sensational pleasures in a submissive way. Retail Value of this kit is $134

The Lelo Tiani is Lelo's newest product, and is almost similar to that of the We Vibe II, but you get to control the vibrations and patterns through a remote, rather than clicking on the toy that's already in position, which could potentially ruin the mood. The remote has SenseMotion, so if you shake it up and down, it does the vibrations to your movement. Kind of like a Nintendo Wii remote. I have not even tried this yet, so be thankful that one of you lucky people get to experience it before one of us! Retail value of this toy is $159

Follow the ways to enter this giveaway by checking out the Rafflecopter Widget. Giveaway will end on Dec 21st at 12:01 a.m. EST. 1 winner will be drawn by random.org, and if they don't respond within 48 hours, a new winner will be chosen.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Want to Earn Gift Cards From EdenFantasys?

2011-12-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

EdenFantasys is still looking for bloggers for their ambassador program, and you in exchange for a post, get gift cards to spend on anything you want. And you can do it as often as every 2 weeks. So potentially, if your blogs rank is high enough, you could earn up to $200 a month to spend it on those crazily expensive items that you wouldn't normally get.

In fact, they just added more high end NEW items by Leaf, which all look environmentally friendly and come with a natural looking tote. These start at $120 and go to $140, that tells you that these must be of great quality and provide great pleasure. Who knows though until you actually try it, and I haven't yet because these were just added on EdenFantasys within the past few days.

So if you're interested in ordering fancy, new sex toys from EdenFantasys for absolutely free or many of the other new products they've added like; bath products, makeup, clothing/club wear, then you should contact Jenn(at)edenfantasys(dot)com and she will respond to you as soon as she can, which may not be that quickly with the holidays right around the corner.

EdenFantasys, an online retailer of sex toys, provided me with a gift card in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own.

Grab an Anal Douche For That Not So Fresh Feeling

2011-12-07T11:08:00.001-08:00

I was browsing through the daily Amazon deals like I always do everyday for my other blog, and I was shocked to find a deal on an Anal Douche. Now, I don't search for one particular item; this was just in the list of sales. So it kind of shocked me to see this on Amazon, who I think so highly of, but I guess that just means they are the online retailer of ALL THAT IS MADE!

So if you need to wash the inside of your not so tasty anus, you may want to snag this Anal Douche on Amazon for only $10, instead of $15. Maybe pair it up with some Crisco for some easy, and pleasant entering.

Best Lesbian Erotica 2011 - Little Lou

2011-12-03T15:08:00.001-08:00

This story is titled "Little Lou", by Gala Fur and translated by Noel Burch.

It was preview time in Paris galleries, and I parked my midnight-blue Mercedes in front of Les Larmes d'Eros. Even as I closed the door, a wind blowing up from the Bastille found its way through the zip of my rubber sheath dress and chilled my thighs. I parted the black drapes that masked the doorway, anxious to find refuge within the comforting walls of a gallery where connoisseurs of fetish art gathered once a month.

A transvestite in governess guise, white scalloped apron over a blue mohair dress, relieved me of the chinchilla stole that kept my bare shoulders warm. It was a typically Parisian get-together, full of men in black, all thrilled to be rubbing shoulders with enticing submissives and budding dominatrices. I recognized a few familiar faces; among them, Little Lou. Coquettish in a plaid, schoolgirl miniskirt, she shone forth in a circle of men who were hanging on her every word. A tousled mane of red hair danced flame like over her rodent-face and was set off nicely by the dark clothes of her timid suitors. A memory of her naked body flashed through my mind: a pretty body, dense and flexible as a gymnast's, glimpsed emerging from her bathroom one day while I was visiting. With feigned embarrassment, she'd drawn the towel she was holding over her breasts but made no effort to hide her pubis, plucked clean as a Metro ticket. She'd shown me her bedroom through a half-open doorway: a canopied bed with a pile of dildos beside it in lieu of teddy bears for that ambiguous Lolita, who was a head-huntress by day for a major European consultancy.

Planted firmly on her black suede booties in front of the framed photos by Gilles Berquet on display, Lou watched me out of the corner of her eye as if to say, "Don't you think I deserve a beating for making a spectacle of myself in front of these hungry wolves?" It turned her on to flirt with the unpredictable. Her eyes shone and she was talking a blue streak now to her little court, rushing to finish her sentence before I cut her short, tormented by the delightful fear the dominant might burst through the circle of admirers, hurl her to the floor, humiliate her on front of everybody. Suddenly the sparrow darted away from the flock of crows, pecked a few peanuts from the bar and came to me holding out a glass of champagne with her fingertips.

"In that stunning rubber dress, you must have dominated a few women in your time, haven't you, Gala?"

"When the subject interests me."

"And if I begged you?"

"I could be really sadistic and say no, Little Lou."

"What if I spilled a glass of champagne on your boots, would you slap me?"

"I might be tempted to redden those lecherous cheeks."

She came closer and lowered her voice.

"When I was a kid, my mother used to slap me as hard as she could. You can't imagine how I loved that! A good smack...takes me back...like Proust's madeleine... Please, Ma'am..."

"And what do I get in return?"

Her expression became very businesslike.

"Any photo on the wall. Tell me which one, I'll steal it for you."

I was sure she was bluffing, she'd promise anyone the moon for a slap in the face.

"There's an alleyway not far from here, nobody will see us."

"I don't care if anybody sees us. Look, over on the right: I want that photo, La Pisseuse."

"You'll get it, I promise."

She took my arm and led me to the door, balanced on her high heels.

There were no streetlamps in her alleyway. A moonless night and not a passerby in view. Gradually, my eyes grew accustomed to the dark. I gazed at Little Lou's lunar face as she stood with her back to a door. She trembled before me, like a trapped rabbit. She waited. There was exaltation in her eyes and fear on her lips. I felt a surge of irritation and I'd slapped a woman. Impulsively, she kissed the back of my hand.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!"

With the second slap, I realized this was turning me on. A thrill ran through me; I was really high now, and I boxed her ears again and again, quicker than a riding crop, a dozen times at least, with splayed fingers.

"Thank you, Ma'am"

She stood there with her nose in the air expecting some show of affection from me, a caress or a few kind words. As none was forthcoming, she bared her breasts and leaned back against the portal. I felt provoked by those round tits with their large areolas, straining against the plaid braces of her pleated skirt. I slapped her bosom with the back of my hand, being careful not to cut her with the stones on my rings. I was touched by the tenderness of her pale skin, and I bent forward to suck a nipple while kneading her other breast with my free hand. The whole surface of my tongue explored her bosom in slow motion, intent on savoring the faintest bristling of dread here or there on that delicate skin.

At the touch of my tongue, her flesh shivered a bit then blossomed forth, placid and warm. I raised her pleated skirt and drove an imperious finger into her slit. She spread her thighs to the limit: her sex was wet, her muff was soaked. I held her pinned to the door with my right middle finger jammed into her pussy and my mouth clamped over her breast like a suction cup. She paints; she shuddered. Now and then, my thumb dealt with her clitoris, exerting calculated pressure three or four times, bringing the whole weight of my hand to bear on the tip. Meanwhile, I kept on sucking, as if I wanted to swallow her breast. She uttered a savage shout. I felt her wet vulva throb and flow over the back of my hand. I stopped and drew back. I spun her round and shoved her roughly up against the door, bent on making her pay for my burst of tenderness.

"Pull up your skirt."

Hanging from her shoulder was a rectangular case; it might have contained a laptop. I yanked it away, and as soon as her skirt was up I used it to swat her behind several times.

"Now you're going to show everybody your red cheeks."

Groggy from the wallops of the case, she looked up at me with wild eyes, already buttoning her blouse. The skirt fell into place over her thighs.

She preceded me into the gallery, anxious to show her marks to her admirers. In the light, the shape of my fingers was plainly visible, printed above her jawbone like an X-ray. Lou turned her head from side to side, as if admiring a pair of earrings in a mirror, but the expected commentaries and wisecracks were not forthcoming. She hurried over to a press attache who'd been smiling at her from afar, twisting her neck in such a way that the woman's gaze fell near her ear--wasted efforts.

She took down the photo I coveted, paid the asking price and brought it to me with misty eyes. She propped her trophy against a radiator. The monocrhome print showed a white plate on an ancient wood floor. A brunette stood jauntily with hands on hips, aiming her urine at the plate; her waste was cinched in top. Lou took my hand. We communed in silence before the performance in the photo. As an epilogue to a furtive trance, the force of the enactment carried us away. But suddenly my deep indifference to her attractions spoiled that beautiful euphoria. My grip on her hand weakened. Aware of my detachment, Lou withdrew her hand and licked my palm like a dog. It was her way of saying good-bye. She vanished through the door-curtains with her hand on her cheek.

A singer from New York waved to me. I'd interviewed her in the days when there still were BDSM magazines in France. Muffled up in a pink angora sweater, Emily was smoking an extraslim on the sly. Seeing I was alone, she came over and held out a damp hand. The woman in her life had just walked on her. Her pupils were dilated by tranquilizers, and she rolled her eyes as she beseeched me. "I'm a little heart for the taking, Gala, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity... I'll be your submissive and you'll see just how submissive I can be! Do with me what you will!" I felt sorry for those trembling lips, that lost-blonde-with-no-collar look. She clung to my arm. I felt the moist warmth of her palm through the rubber sleeve. She lived in a hotel in the 12th arrondissement, close to the Metro entrance: one room and a washstand with a shared loo on the landing. Her dream was to be taken in hand, in the name of love and solidarity. Submissives always knew how to get my pity. Except that the woman who surrendered to those periwinkle-blue eyes would have to possess qualities I lack. the need to love, for example, even if a stray arrow from Cupid's bow does get to me now and then. And a state for blondes... Not to mention the self-denial involved in any relationship with a tyrannical submissive. Still shaken by the intensity of my experience with Little Lou, a gratuitous and transgressive act, I resented Emily's forced landing in my field. I thought of lending her money to salve my conscience, but then I had a fit of pride, pleaded a previous engagement and walked away.

It was snowing. Lou was propped against my front fender, her hair dotted with flakes. She gave me her address. She knew I wasn't going to take her home with me. When I dropped her off on rue Mademoiselle, she kissed me on the cheek. Watching her disappear inside the apartment house, my conscience was clear: I'd driven her home hadn't I?

Want a Naughty Giveaway for the Holidays?

2011-11-30T22:01:00.001-08:00

How would you guys like a giveaway this month for the holiday, which will include fabulous Lelo products? I am working my magic, so that someone will have an especially, naughty Christmas this year.

You can thank me later.

Tattoo Artist Shits on His Ex-GF

2011-11-30T14:47:00.001-08:00

I bet you clicked on this hoping to see some really fucked up "shit" on "shit" action, huh? You weirdos!

I read this story on Tosh.0 and thought that it was just too damn good to pass up and not share with those of you who don't follow him religiously.

The tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald decided he was going to get revenge on his ex g/f whom had cheated on him with one of his really good friends, by liquoring her up and getting a signed consent to tattoo her. She thought she was getting a scene from Narnia, but instead got a fly infested, pile of steamy shit.

Normally I would feel sorry, but in this case, she got what she deserved.

Now she is suing Ryan Fitzgerald for $100,000.

Think she will win since she signed the papers giving consent? I could care less either way, since its funny as shit.

Word to the unwise -- Never cheat on a tattoo artist!

Sexy Suicide Girl of the Week - Bullet

2011-11-29T15:17:00.001-08:00

I chose her because she has a kickass name to go along with a kickass tattoo.

I know I haven't done the weekly suicide girl in a long time, but we're here to get back on track!

Enjoy the beauty

gender: SG
age: 25 (Oct 19, 1986)
occupation: Tattooer, Art Whore, Mother
body mods: Yeah, I got a few.
heroes: Will all let you down...
crush: Is unattainable... how sad :(
sign: Libra
makes me sad: Wasted talent. Watching people waste their lives, and knowing they are content with it.

Clubwear and Cocktail Dresses

2011-11-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

I tried one of EdenFantasys new and exciting clubwear and cocktail dresses, and I couldn't be happier with my purchase. I decided to give the dress and shirt to my youngest sister since they're made for petite bodies such as hers, which I am far from and they fit perfectly, but I did have to go a size up since they're much smaller than normal.

The cocktail dress is black cotton and has a beaded empire waist band embedded into the dress, and it comes up about 4 inches above the knee on someone whom is 5'8. Its a bit dressy but can be worn anywhere.

The top I ordered is a pretty aquaish type blue color, that has a v-cut style back and a removable empire waist black belt. You will be showing your bra strap off in the back if you were to wear this top, since the v-cut is that low. This top to me is so versatile that it can be worn in the club or anywhere for that matter. This shirt is made by the same company as the dress so I ordered a size up from her normal size and it fit great.

Then to top off the look of both of these outfits, you can find new beauty products on EdenFantasys. They now have numerous different lipglosses, eye shadow palettes, face palettes, and even bronzer. I absolutely love that EdenFantasies is not just partial to one thing and one thing only and you can get most of your items in one place. So so awesome.

EdenFantasys, an online retailer of sex toys, provided me with a gift card in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T12:35:00.001-08:00

Let's all hope we don't come back having gained 10lbs from the glorious food we're about to devour.

Yearning for a Lady Lover (My Venture on Plugin.com)

2011-11-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

Plugin.com has been mentioned before but I am going to embark on a little experiment. I will be logging onto it once a week to search for beautiful boobies and vaginas to connect with. It is very much geared toward the horny porn watchers, so mostly men. It works a lot like Facebook and Myspace; you have a profile with public pictures and you share posts. People can comment on your posts and you can approve or deny friend requests. There are tons of horny cocks and I suspect a good portion of the vaginas on there are actually cocks in disguise.

My main purpose for joining this site was to find a fellow pussy lovin cunt like myself to share sexy stories with. I'm finding it difficult to get responses to messages. This is leading me to believe that the women I've added to my friends list aren't really women at all, they are bots. I'm hopeful that if I keep trying that I will find someone to chat with and then maybe I will have more to share about this pervy site.

One really awesome thing has come from my experiment. I told a close friend that I was embarking on this little web adventure. She in turn shared with me that she has left her husband, because she met a big breasted girl that enjoys licking pussy as much as I do. I was flabbergasted, yet thrilled for her. My friend says after watching me hit on girls in Vegas last summer, she discovered she too has a yearning to be with women. It was kinda cool to chat with her about the wanting to have another woman in bed, without my Darling there. I don't necessarily want to have an affair, but I know I want a lady lover all to myself. Hopefully this plugin adventure will be just what I need to curb this craving. Please feel free to share comments and let me know if you'd like to hear more from me about this.

Would You Fuck the Predator if it Were on a Fleshlight?

2011-11-17T19:15:00.001-08:00

Title says it all.

I'm not quite sure who thought it would be a good idea to put the predator head on a dick sleeve, but I'm quite curious to see how pleasurable it is. The mouth entrance closely resembles a vagina, so it can't be all that bad right?

Are you brave enough to give it a try?

Pleasurists #156

2011-11-15T15:38:00.001-08:00

Cabaret of Shadows by incoldmirrors
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists 155? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 157? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday November 20th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Toys for Sex Giveaway Deadline: November 18th.
RodeoH Giveaway = Love time! deadline: November 20th @ 11:59am Eastern.
Happy Spanksgiving Kinky Contest – Win a Neon Wand! Deadline: November 24th.
600 Follower Giveaway Deadline: November 25th.
In Celebration of My Husband’s Birthday, I’m Giving Away a Fun Factory Cobra Libre and Tenga Eggs! Deadline: November 30th.
Win an Extase Couture Vibrator Deadline: November 30th @ Midnight Eastern.
Giveaway Bonanza Deadline: December 5th.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus
On to the reviews:
Vibrators

bSwish bGood by padme amidala
Forbidden Fruit by Mistress Kay
Nirvana by Karen Blue
LELO Tiani by Mistress Kay
Tantus Flex by the bedroom blogger
FixSations by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
Buzzlet by Red
Pipedream Mini Wanachi by Penny
My BFF by Undressed Reviews
White Heat Double Delights by PandaDementia
We-Vibe Touch by Epiphora
Remote Control Little Black Panty by Shay
Knicker Critter by Midnight Boudoir
PicoBong Kiki by Lucid Obsession
Passion Wave by Lucid Obsession
L’Intimate by Kitty Stryker

Dildos

Anal Toys

Nexus Vibro by Mistress Kay

Sleeves, Rings, & etc.

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Miscellaneous

Pink and Black Plaid Hooded Hottie Costume

2011-11-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

I figured this costume would be fun for my Darling and I to fool around with on Halloween. I surprised him as he was gaming in the den. I walked in wearing my Pink and Black Plaid Hoodie fully zipped up. This outfit is so fashionable that it can totally be worn for a night out on the town.

He showered me with compliments and kisses. The hoodie is definitely meant for a larger chested woman. I've lost some weight in my bra since I started working full time again. I would love to see a nice set of perky tits snuggled into this hoodie. When zipped up the top of the fabric poofs a bit as if asking for more boobs. The material for outfit is a very thin; 80% nylon and 20% spandex.

The costume comes with the cute skirt/leggings, zippered hoodie, nip-showin bra-like top and of course crotchless panties. The leggings and skirt are one complete piece as you can see from the top picture this is an outfit that can be worn in or out of the bedroom comfortably. The bra has barely any support and the ties are fragile so don't tie them too tight or they will rip. The nip holes have a sewn bow directly in the center and do not completely reveal your nipple. My old lady mom nips had to be adjusted so they peeked correctly. Damn I hate getting old. The crotchless panties are like the rest of the outfit, super comfy. It felt weird wearing them as I wasn't used to it. I felt like my pussy lips were sticking out from being squeezed together. Darling said the crotchless panties were so handy that I should get more pairs of them. Apparently he really liked it when he pulled the skirt down and came face to pussy when he was expecting plaid panties. I enjoyed his easy access as much as he did. This is a perfect naughty in a modest kind of way costume!

I will be wearing this to a party next summer. Even with the peek-a-boob bra and crotchless panties. When I was in high school my bras and panties never had holes...at the start of the evenings anyway. Yes I was the high school hottie who fucked boys and sometimes girls on the hoods of cars. Now I'm playing dress up as the naughty high school hottie.

Thanks a bunch to TabuToys for sending me this totally rad costume, they have plenty more sexy costumes to check out for those of you who are interested!

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the Pink and Black Plaid Hooded Hottie Costume free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Celebrate Christmas With HOT Sex

2011-11-14T14:49:00.001-08:00

Want to celebrate Christmas this year, in a naughty, santa-esque way? EdenFantasys has you covered with all their hot new items in their costume and lingerie sections. I did a search and came up with all of these, because I wanted something a little different this year. However, I don't think my boyfriend would "enjoy" them much, since he's the Grinch. But you sure can!

Holiday babydoll and thong
Santa robe set
Pom Pom Santa halter dress
Satin Santa apron dress
Velvet Santa romper with hood
Santa baby velvet dress
Santas sweetie
Sleigh belle

And to add to the excitement of those costumes, you can pair it with these bdsm Xmas plush cuffs, Naughty Secret Santa Tingle Gel (peppermint flavor),the Holiday Santa Ducky Discreet Massager, Kinky Kristmas vibrator kit, or the reflections candy cane vibrator to use on your naughty bits, if your boyfriend decides not to put out.

Wow, we just made something so fun and innocent, into something so dirty. Now every time I think of Santa, I'm going to get a huge boner and jill off. And for having such dirty thoughts about the jolly old man in red, I should probably leave him a naughty treat sitting on the table. Perhaps a fleshlight, since he most likely doesn't get to dust off t he cobwebs from Mrs. Claus' vagina anymore. That is, if he can get it up still. Why am I thinking about an old, fat mans penis? Because they're like tits, once you seen one, you want to see them all, right?

This post brought to you by EdenFantasys, an online sex toys retailer.

Fleshlight Freaks - Alien Edition

2011-11-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

As I previously mentioned in my Frankenstein Dildo review, I was enamored by the Freaks Series by Fleshlight. So much so that I decided to contact them to see if I could try a couple out. I ended up ordering the Alien Fleshlight for my boyfriend, since I'm nice like that, AND because I wanted to see what it looks like to fuck a blue pussy from out of this world.

To me the alien fleshlight looked more like a creature from Avatar in the online photo, with its bright, florescent blue, silicone skin. However when it arrived, it wasn't bright blue, and was in fact kind of dull. I didn't let that affect this experience, since it was still blue like we assume aliens to be.

My boyfriend laughed when I pulled it out for him to fuck. He's always shy about "fake pussy's", especially thrusting himself into one in front of me. I left the room for a minute to let my cat outside, and he already lubed himself up and entered the Alien. He wanted to spice it up a bit and make it more interesting, so I sat on top of him while I held the fleshlight in my hand, moving it up and down on his hard cock. He was enjoying that, but it just wasn't quite doing "it."

He then asked me to get on all fours, and to hold the fleshlight, so that it would make it a little more real for him, since he likes grabbing my tits as he thrusts. He had no problem cumming then, and in fact it was quite hot because the fleshlight was pressed up against my vag, which got me in the mood, but it wasn't MY time, it was his.

I asked him how he felt about the Alien, and he shrugged. He said it was okay, nothing too special, but then again he doesn't seem to be too interested in the fleshlight toys for some reason. He only has one other one, and he said that the Alien was ribbed better than that one, but still mediocre. I guess he is just too hard to please!

It is a bit hard to clean out, just remove the silicone sleeve from the hard casing and rinse the inside with hot water, and use a toy cleaner that won't harm silicone, especially dyed silicone.

Fleshlight also carries different versions, such as; the zombie, drac, Frankenstein, and cyborg.

Thanks to Fleshlight for offering these two wonderful toys in compensation for my honest and fair review. All opinions are 100% ours and are not influenced in any way.

These Are Deserving Eyes

2011-11-11T18:39:00.001-08:00

A lot of people don't know this about me, but I used to wear glasses from the age of 5, all the way up to the age of 19. I hated it! It was awful having to explain to people why your eyes are so retarded that you need glasses to correct your vision. Kids just don't understand complex things such as this, so there was lots of teasing with the normal "4 eyes" comments directed towards anyone that wore glasses. What they didn't know is that I technically had 6 eyes! That's right you little dicks, I had bi-focals implemented into my glasses because of my lazy ass eye. And to make matters worse, I had to have those thick ass eye-glasses provided by the state, because my mother was too poor to buy fancy ones.

As soon as I turned 17, I had my ritual yearly eye test to see how my eyes were progressing and got new lenses created. Lucky for me, I was able to find cheap eyeglasses that were not bulky, and actually quite stylish. So I had my eye Dr. put my lenses into the frames and all was great. A year and a half after I wore these new glasses, I suddenly woke up and could SEE, which I thought was never going to happen.

After wearing glasses for almost 15 years, with the worst vision possible, I now have the greatest vision I have ever had, of course. No more of what in my mind looked like "censored" imagery in everyday life. However, in some circumstances it would be nice when you run into front-butts.

It is great to be able to see without any contacts, glasses, or surgery though.

Plugin - An Adult Social Networking Site (Totally Awesome!)

2011-11-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

I know there's a lot of you out there who follow us, whom also post about adult related things, because you're just that awesome. Have you gone as far as creating a Facebook page to try and branch out your network, only to be shunned by Facebook, because you post too risque content? Well, now's the time to ditch Facebook for the most part and join up on the adult social network site, called Plugin.

At first, I thought it was a joke, because the name plugin is often referred to as an add-on to a browser, or an addition to a software program. But, all it took me was a minute to catch on and totally get, that this site is worthy of such a dirty name. I mean afterall, it is a social networking site for adults to post anything they want, as long as it does not contain spam. I envision lots of porn bot programs signing up and spamming the crap out of it, but hopefully they boot their asses off quickly.

I however, created an account to check it out and hopefully it will be a good "network" to add to the list of frequent visits. I have noticed that its similar to Facebook, you get to post status's, like people's comments, add your photos to albums, join groups, chat, and they even have a classified section for the people who are looking to spread their seed of love. If that don't sound like fun, I don't know what does.

Go check it out too and "like" or "add" us!

Disclosure: I was compensated for writing a review for plugin.com. This however, did not alter or influence my opinion in any way. All opinions are 100% mine, unless I've been kidnapped by aliens, but then none of this would make any sense to you.

5 Piece Pink Playboy Bunny Costume Review

2011-11-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

I thought this 5 Piece Pink Playboy Bunny Costume was cute, and absolutely had to have it from Tabutoys. Who doesn't want to pretend they're a playboy bunny, spotted by Hugh Hefner's old ass? Well maybe not the last part, but I wouldn't mind if he gave me lots of money to strut my stuff.

When the costume arrived, I took it out of it's plastic casing and tried it on. The material is the same as a swim suit; microfiber. Its not really form fitting, but I guess that is good if you're looking to hide imperfections. To me it looks more like something I would wear to bed. It comes with a bunny ear headband, the microfiber dress with an attached bunny tail on the behind, gloves, and a matching vest you wear over the top of the dress. The vest was a little bit short, but that's kind of expected if you have boobs to fill it up. Fortunately it's not too risque, since nothing can be seen underneath. It may possibly be a tad see through, since its a light pink color, but I didn't wear it long enough to find out. I also noticed that its really short, and most likely wouldn't be used as an outside of the bedroom costume, as my behind would be showing to the world, which is not a pleasant site to see.

Overall, not what I expected, but it works good enough for role playing, and for just wanting to look completely sexy. I paired it with some white stockings and I definitely felt like a classic Playboy Bunny.

They have a lot of sexy costumes to choose from if this one doesn't suit your fancy.

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the 5 Piece Pink Playboy Bunny Costume free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Justin Bieber a Father?

2011-11-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

I heard this as we were driving somewhere the other day, and I started laughing, because I always thought the Bieb's was a little girl. Would would have sex with it?

I know! Selena Gomez.

The girl Mariah Yeater, who is the accuser in this case, apparently said her ex boyfriend was the father at first to try and pin it on him, which he denied because the dates did not line up correctly. So then she got a great idea to try to entrap her son on the Bieber. First of all, I don't believe her story one bit, because it sounds like she is making up stuff off the top of her head in the interview tape.

It's just quite sad that crazy ass people, such as Mariah Yeater can make money on a fabricated story, and they don't care who they hurt in the process. This is going to affect not only you, but your son, you dumb, dumb whore.

I hope she gets put in jail for a while once they prove her to be lying, so she can be tormented by big bully dykes. Maybe then, she will think twice before opening her mouth for quick cash.

I Think I'm Ready to Get Personal

2011-11-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

So, after I mentioned I was leaving for Vegas, I haven't really been "back" to blogging, except to post up my Frankenstein Dildo review.

This time I thought my trip to Vegas would be a little different, since it would mainly just be us two. I had got my boyfriend a wedding ring, even showed him and let him hold onto it. I jokingly said, bring it to Vegas with us, and once we arrived at the hotel, I dug into the backpack for something, and seen it sitting there in its box. I thought that maybe he was actually interested in getting married this time around, but then once we met up with his friend after being there for a day and a half, he made the comment, "what would you like to do now? And don't say get married, I see it in your eyes." He always tries to say stuff for comedic value, since he thinks he is absolutely hilarious, but I was not laughing and in fact, I was pissed off. I immediately stopped walking, since we were just wandering aimlessly in the opposite direction of our parked car and I didn't feel like walking a million miles back to it, through the canal of people. He got mad at me, and told me I can't just stop walking, when the other people are still continuing to walk. I said oh well, and he ran ahead to tell them that I was mad, or what have you and that we're heading separate ways. I let his marriage joke affect me for probably an hour and then I got over it enough to enjoy the rest of my time there. So needless to say, we did not come back married like I had hoped, even though I thought he was ready and wanting to, since he brought his ring. Why bring it if you know you're not going to go through with it?

Then a few days after we got home, we were headed to watch Tom Green at a local comedy venue, and beforehand we went to our lovely anchor bar, had dinner and a couple drinks. They make them stiff there, which often times gives you liquid courage. So, I decided since this is still on my mind, I was going to ask him why he's so afraid of getting married, since he decided to bring up our friends that are finally getting married after 10 years of being together. He told me that he doesn't want to be married to someone who has not "lived" on their own, again. How many people have lived on their own, without roommates? People in the olden days were getting married at like 12, and they lived perfectly normal, good lives. This to me, means that I am not good enough to be married to him. He then said he doesn't want to get tax evasion from all the stuff that I do on the internet. I told him that was a lame ass excuse, because I do my taxes, and do not have any problems there. Then, the real kicker, he does not want kids. All of these things were discussed prior, and he even talked about our future kids before. So why all the what if's, negativity and different things now?

As you can see, I was in a funk, since I have been MIA. My relationship to me, sounded like it was over and I was ready to pack up my shit right then and leave to my sisters to focus on my schooling, and what have you.

But then he started being emotionally available and consoling, told me that I would make a great wife and mother. I know I would, but I don't want to hear that just to make me feel better, I want to hear that I would make a great wife, and mother with YOU. After all I've spent almost 6 years of my life with him, he should know by now if I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He said, "You deserve to be married, you've waited long enough." Considering that most of his family, friends and other people around us seem to be getting married within like a year of meeting, yeah I think I do. But, its not some contest that I win for sticking around as long as I have. I am in it for the long haul, wanting to be married to him because I love him.

Things are back to normal, but all of these issues are not resolved. I told him that if he can't see himself marrying me or having kids with me, to let me know, because that's an obvious deal-breaker. He hasn't yet, but we shall see in my upcoming break away from him during winter break from school.

I'm not going to pressure him into marriage, since that's the last thing I want, but it would be nice to know at some point that the person you've given your life to for so many years, actually feels, and wants the same things as you.

Only time will tell...

Happy Halloween ~ Frankenstein Dildo Review!

2011-10-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

The Frankenstein Dildo by Fleshlight is the scariest dildo I have ever seen, hands down. I found this by chance, just by browsing the good ol' interweb through the best search engine on the planet, Google. Without it, I wouldn't be finding half of the crazy stuff I do.

Anyways, so I'm checking out Fleshlight Freak Series of sex toys and at first, I wanted the blood red Dracula dildo, but figured since it had a lot of dye implemented into it, it may not be the wisest choice to use on my girly bits. Granted all the dildos in the Freak Series are intended for external use only, but that's only to be on the safe side. If you're more adventurous, daring, and don't mind that you may puncture your vagina walls with one of Frankensteins' bolts, then go ahead, but don't go buck wild with it.

Even Roxie was interested.

The reason I decided to go with Frankenstein, rather than 1 of the other 4 (zombie, alien, cyborg or drac) is because it looked to be the skinniest just by the image alone. I should know better than to judge a dildo by its cover, because when it arrived, it was the biggest dildo I had ever seen! Not only was it big around, but it is gigantic in length! Unfortunately there are no measurements online, so what you see is what you get. I figured it would be a hell of a lot better than the Avatar dildo with the mutation of two penises in one. Creepy!

Frankenstein had a lot of detailing to it, which is not only creative, but absolutely awesome. I however, did not use this on my vagina, so its still in the plastic bag it arrived in and is going to be more for humor, and collection, rather than personal use. I may even end up giving it to one of my friends who's favorite holiday is Halloween. She's getting married to her boyfriend of 10+ years finally, so maybe this would be a great wedding gift? Yes, no?

Want FREE stuff from EdenFantasys? Win 1 of 2, $130 gift cards!

2011-10-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

I know that I have been talking about the EdenFantasys giveaway a lot, but I'm trying to get the word out there for those of you who are too scared of writing your own posts about EdenFantasys, or just buying anything from "sex toys" stores in general. You do not have to leave your real name in the entry sign up, if you want to be completely anonymous. It's up to you!

So far we have 28 participants, which means we need 172 more participants for the giveaway to be over! Sounds like a lot, but really its not, considering how many people visit this blog and the others that I participate on. ;)

EdenFantasys has updated their inventory yet again, and I honestly can't wait to share the gift card love with 2 of my lucky readers! I have my eye on this new sexy lingerie piece (burlesque chemise thong and stockings). I just hope it doesn't go out of stock by the time I get around to getting gift cards for myself again.

I mean c'mon, you wouldn't adore this piece? It looks fabulous!

Or maybe this new Jacquard corset, thong, and stockings! I am absolutely loving how a lot of the new lingerie pieces come with stockings and garters now. Sometimes its hard finding something that complements or fits with new lingerie.

Anyways, enough about what I want since I am like a kid at a candy store on this website. Get to getting your entries in so you too can enjoy FREE, great things from EdenFantasys!

You have plenty of time to enter, don't be shy! =)

Tri-O Triple Pleasure Cock Ring Review

2011-10-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hey there. It's been awhile since you've heard from me. Well, I've been on hiatus for a few weeks but that doesn't mean our adventures in the bedroom have! The wife and I recently had a chance to try out a new cock ring. But not just a regular, old cock ring... but a Tri-O Triple Pleasure Cock Ring! If that name doesn't raise your curiosity, I don't know what will!

One of the first impressions that we got from the ring is that it's pretty big. Not so much in the sense that a big dick would fit in it, but more along the lines that it's long. The thing is at least 4 inches in length and it definitely makes it stand out from the run of the mill circular cock rings. But don't let the size intimidate you (that's what she said!), you'll soon realize the genius of this design.

The ring is made up of some very stretchy jelly material. It stretches more than any of the other jellies that I've seen so it makes me wonder if it'll stand the test of time and withstand the constant pounding that this sucker will take. But boy does it feel so snug. The top ring stretched out easily and fit quite snugly and the second ring, for the boys, did just as well. Now...the reason that it's called a Tri-O Triple Pleasure Cock Ring comes to light once you have it on. Two of the Os (as in ORGASM if you still haven't caught on, lol) come in the form of 2 vibrating bullets. Both bullets have "clit bumpers" on them to assure that no matter what position you're in, the woman is bound to get some vibrating love. The second, or lower bullet, also has a bumper for him so your boys will be getting pampered as well. The third and lesser known O comes in the lowest part of the cock ring, the taint zone.

Now, for those of you that are not familiar with "no man's land" or the taint zone, it's the area between her pussy and her ass. That super sensitive area that will make any woman, or man, go wild. If you have not explored this area with your partner, DO IT! This ring will enhance that experience with the taint tickler. It's perfectly placed to give that added stimulation to make her go over the edge... AGAIN!

If you are in the need of a new cock ring, you need to check this one out on Good Vibrations. It may be a little intimidating for first timers so maybe you'll want to try something a little more simple until you feel comfortable using a ring. But for those of us that are looking for something a little extra, this ring's for you. Later!

Scary Sex Toy Sunday - Volume 2

2011-10-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

Last weeks post was mild, however after spending a little bit of time browsing around Google again, we were able to come up with some pretty decent Halloween-esque sex toys for this week.

Death By Orgasm - The Scorpion

Feel the sexy sting of the Death By Orgasm Scorpion, and you’ll be crawling with pleasure as this scary-sexy sleeve and vibrating bullet tingle and buzz on all of your favorite sensual spots. Perfect for a little naughty trick-or-treating of your own, alone or with a partner. The Scorpion vibe comes in a spooky coffin-shaped metal storage case with six batteries included. Soft and stretchy body-safe elastomer scorpion sleeve covers a ten-function, push-button, waterproof bullet vibe; a fun and functional Halloween Gift or treat for your favorite goth, Scorpio, or anyone who loves to go bump (or "Ohhhh!") in the night.

Ghost Dildo

The Ghost will haunt your fantasies! Beautifully sculptured and glow in the dark it has the perfect gentle curve for either g-spot or prostate stimulation. The textured shaft and rounded head are sure to tantalize sensitive tissues.

Ghost Vibe

This friendly ghost vibrator will fool you with its creepy smile. It will fill you with treats not trickery. He will delight you with intense multi-speed vibration. The contoured ghost design features a large bulbous head and smiling face, perfect for external and internal massage, as well as precise G-spot stimulation.

Mr. Jack with Mustache

Vibrating mouth with a moustache...a toy like this needs no further description.

I couldn't find the site for these toys. They certainly are creepy looking, even without the elderly women checking them out. Old people get horny too I suppose.

Giveaway for $130 Gift Cards to EdenFantasys. Find out how to win!

2011-10-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

I teamed up with The Amazon Addiction to offer you guys a chance to win 1 of 2 $130 EdenFantasys Gift Cards. All you have to do is one simple, no obligation thing to enter. But, you must go check out how over at The Amazon Addiction.

All I know is that $130 buys a lot of great stuff on EdenFantasys, since they often times do discounts on their items. Like right now, you can get costumes and lingerie for 20% off, 30% off on Couture and L'amour rabbit vibrators, and 30% off on sexy Playgirl and Wicked Passions DVDs. On top of that, if you happen to win, and you get your cart all the way to $130, you can add the code sexis30 and it will take an extra $30 off, and then you can add more stuff to get it back up to $130 again. There's honestly so many ways to save on EdenFantasys.

If you were to ask me what I'd get with the $130, I don't think I could tell you since there's so many things I want and the possibilities are endless. First though, I would get that cute corset top in the photo, and I already have those ruffle butt panties, its destined to be!

Enough about what I want, go check out how to win the gift cards so you can get some super hot items. The sooner we have more people entering, the sooner it will be over! =)

Craigslist People Never Cease to Amaze Me

2011-10-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

Since I have an overabundant amount ofcostumes sitting around that I'm probably not going to have enoughtime to ever wear, I decided I should sell them on Craigslist andmake a bit of money for my Vegas trip that I'll be leaving for thisTuesday.

Selling on Craigslist comes withcertain perks, like the delusional people who I like to call“Jennifer”. The reason I call them Jennifer, is because they liketo say they're smaller than what they are. But clearly I know better,because they're standing right in front of me and are 2-3 timesbigger than I am.

Like today, I got someone who showed upand said they're a size 14, picked up a costume and asked if it wouldfit? I said it should fit a 14, because that one actually fitssmaller than the size states (18). She put it down. I was laughinginside, since she obviously knew it would not fit her delusionalfront butt, muffin top, that she claimed was a size 14.

I get another person who is probably asize 26+ who bought 2 costumes that would never fit her, but saidthey should since they were her size. Hell, I didn't care because I'mmaking money and it's her fault if she's that retarded. She decidedthat she was going to email me after getting home and try to get meto take one of them back, since she said it was HUGE on her. It was obviously a coverup, because I have tried all of them on and Iknow for a fact on how it fits. It had no stretch, so it probably didn'teven come up over her ham hock legs. I told her sorry, cannot take itback since I'm not a damn store. She then tried to purchase one of my corsets. HELLO, if that costume did not fit you, the corset is not going to fit you. Dumb ass. I just ignored her request and sold it to someone who WAS my size. I was completely shocked to see someone not half retarded.

Then I get an email from sometran-sexual dude that wants to dress up in sexy costumes, and asks ifI will accept him doing my household chores as a form of paymentsince he has no money. Not that I have a problem with tran-sexuals,but this just creeped me out, because I would never let a stranger inmy home to mess around with my belongings, who would then possibly kill me and wear my skin as a Halloween outfit.

Then you get the flakes. Craigslistshould honestly be called Flakelist, since I can't even count howmany times I've been flaked on. I'm at least happy to get thedelusional fatties showing up, cause that means I getmonies. But c'mon, don't flake on me 3 times and then try to send mea new email thinking I forgot about you flaking on me to begin withand try for a 4^th time. I told that bitch off and shenever emailed me again. It's rude to say you're going to meet up andthen be a no showing cuntface, especially when I've got tons of shitto do!

Do you guys ever bother with Craigslist?

Sexual Position of the Week - "Backseat Driver"

2011-10-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

He sits with his knees in tight and tucked beneath him. She kneels in front of him so that their bodies are tucked closely together. She rubs her bottom in the area of his genitals to heat him up and then slides on top of him when they're both primed for action! This is a great position if you only have time for a quickie or if you are looking for a rear-entry position with greater potential for intimacy.

"What's in it for her" - In this position, you will control the tempo of the lovemaking session, either moving quickly or slowly, thrusting your h ips up and down in a circular pattern or in a gentle rocking motion. For even deeper penetration, open your legs wide. Add some oomph when you're about to come--reach behind and grasp his back to pull you both extra tight!

"What's in it for him" - Your hands will be free to roam her body, and you may want to lavish extra attention to her breasts. If you sync up with her motions, the friction and rhythm can send you both soaring!

Guest Blogger Delia - BNaughty Bullet Review

2011-10-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Being my first review for SITWP, I wasvery excited to get my first product for review in the mail. Ireceived the BNaughty from Babeland and immediately ripped openthe box in excitement. The bullet toy came in a box with a plasticinsert for the toy, and another insert filled with a small drawstringstorage bag for the BNaughty. The inside of the storage bag seemedto be made of some kind of soft fleece material which was great. Some material tends to stick too, or get toys all “pilly”, wherethis one did not.

The Bnaughty has a rating of four outof five stars on Babeland's website, and I could not agree more. It's handset is light weight and unscrews easily at the base wheretwo AA batteries (not included) go. The cord that attaches to theactual bullet is durable and about two feet long. According to thewebsite, the bullet is 2-3/4” x 1-1/3”, which is correct. What Ireally liked was the texture of the bullet. The website describes itas “velvety-smooth”, which exactly is what it feels like. Fromjust holding the bullet in my hand, I could tell that the four speedsettings were intense, and also had a significant increase invibration with each clip up. The lowest setting is obviously thequietest, but overall, the noise level it not very loud. Also, thistoy is waterproof for shower time fun.

I've used the BNaughty a handful oftimes already, and I'm still on the first set of batteries, which Ican't complain about. The first time I played with my the new toy, Ihad one of my “friends” come over to help me out. He's never oneto say no to something new, so he immediately was also very excited. He teased me with the bullet on the slowest setting, which is stillvery powerful, all over my body. We took turns with the remote,changing the intensity of the speed until I couldn't take the teasingany more.

By far the best quality, and myfavorite, is the velvet texture of the bullet. Because it is not aslick plastic material, it doesn't move easily. This allowed me tokeep the BNaughty firmly in place on my clit while he and I had sex. Evenduring the rougher portions of our sexcapade, the bullet never movedor slipped out. With it on the highest speed, and my man railing me,it took me only a few minutes to cum.

The BNaughty is inexpensive and thequality is definitely more than what you pay for. This product iswonderful and I think would be a great starter toy for someone juststarting their collection.

EdenFantasys Giveaway - Win 1 of 2, $130 Giftcards!!

2011-10-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

You heard the title right. But, you shall have to head on over to the The Amazon Addiction to find out how to enter this magnificent giveaway!! Its easy peasy, even your grandma can do it.

What would you splurge on if you happened to win?

Pre-Halloween Sex Toys - Volume 1 (mild)

2011-10-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

As you all know, Halloween is this month, and what better way to show appreciation than through sex and toys. Halloween is a time to be artistic, weird and do crazy, scarily things you've never done before.

So I've decided to browse the web and come up with a compiled collection of "spooky" themed sex toys for you all to enjoy and maybe, just maybe, even try out for yourself.

Spider paddle (entrap her)

Trap your partner in your web of desire with this finely constructed leather paddle. Made from high quality durable leather, this flogging paddle features a spider web-like design with superior craftsmanship and detailing. The front of the paddle includes purple stitching along the edges and across the specially shaped paddle head to mimic the look of a spider web with fresh morning dew glistening off the webs.

Vamp Dildo

The Vamp is damned near the perfect realistic style dildo; silicone, body safe, retains temperatures well, has subtle texture due to the exaggerated head and veined shaft but not too much texture, is sized to please nearly any level of user and it sparkles! Whether or not you're into vampires, the Vamp is sure to please. And if you are? Happy fantasizing! The Vamp really does seem like a bloodless, beautiful, undead cock.

Succu Dry

Not just another gimmicky toy - this sucker lives up to its name. Very cool packaging and awesome vampire fangs with super suction and great interior features wait for you behind this sweet little mouth. If you like your masturbators tight, textured and intense then this vamp is for you.

Horny Devil Vibrating Headband

Two red silicone horns (both removable from the adjustable plastic headband) will appear to emerge directly from your head, making this a perfect addition to any costume, whether for a costume party or for role playing fun. And when you've gotten yourself or your partner all worked up, remove the vibrating horn (one vibrates, one doesn't) and use it as an external vibrator! Perfect against the clit, perineum, labia, balls, nipples, etc.

Incoqnito Blade Pendant and Necklace

You'll feel like a secret sensual adventurer when you place this uniquely gorgeous ornament around your neck. A small folding knife makes a stunning geometric pendant, and the discreet glass-and-wood beauty opens to become a subtle sensation toy. Lightly slide it across flesh and relish the sight as your lover swoons... or bare your own neck to your partner! Explore subtle sensations alone, or alternate with softer materials to make all your nerves wake up and sing.

Sexual Position of the Week - Gift Wrap

2011-10-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

The man sits comfortably in a cross-legged or lotus position, and the woman lowers herself onto his lap, wrapping her legs firmly around his waist and hooker her ankles in the back. She then slides onto his erect penis and slowly leans backward onto her outstretched arms. Don't speed through that last part, because there's a chance she can hurt her man, he can slip out, or both. When successfully executed, you'll both feel a tight, albeit shallow, penetration.

"What's in it for her" - Your man will rock you back and forth with a mesmerizing rhythm! You can vary the angle, reclining until you stop on a spine-tingling sensation. Your man can also hold you in place with one arm and use the other to roam the front of your body-- including your clitoris!

"What's in it for him" - She will control the angle penetration while you control the thrusting. Watch the temperature sky rocket as you pull her into you with great force just as you're about to cum. This can fuel your animal instincts and heighten the intensity of orgasm for both of you!

NIGHTMARE! Now Your Nightmares Come to Life.

2011-10-05T10:46:00.000-07:00

I figured what better way to start this post, than by blasting "Nightmare" - by Avenged Sevenfold

I was writing up a post to get done for the week, that had a Halloween theme. So I was browsing the internet, searching for anything that resembled ghosts, goblins, witches, and vampires "sexually". Difficult task I must say.

I went to bed after that and usually whatever the last thing I think about, is usually what I dream of and in this case, have a nightmare of.

For some reason, this said nightmare took place at my grandma's house, since I used to live with her at one point. I had "bitchy babe" over and we were going to have a sleep over, in.the.same.bed. One thing led to another and we were touching each other's private parts. As soon as I started rubbing Bitchy babe's clit, her moans got louder and louder, and she almost reached climax instantly. Until I heard the television in the living room start blaring after my grandma had went to bed. She starts yelling, turn that shit down for a good two minutes, before she gets out of bed to do it herself. I told bitchy babe, we should probably stop for the moment, because my grandma is going to open the door to see if it was us. 5 seconds later, here she is at the door, turning the lights on, asking. I said no, we've been in bed the whole time. She says what a "clean" room you have, in a sarcastic tone. (to this day, she still thinks she has control over everyone and can tell them to clean their own house if she doesn't think it's clean enough) I look down and see part of a watermelon sitting on a paper plate on the floor. *oops* She leaves the room, not turning the lights off behind her, so I get out of bed and quickly turn the lights off and jump back into bed, but then I notice that one of the lights is still on. So I get back out of bed and turn that one off and get back into bed. By this time, the sexual desire to get off had dissipated. Bitchy babe was passed out with her back turned to me. I turn to my right side and stare into oblivion until I pass out, but notice that the lamps on the dresser were flickering lightly, like they were trying to be turned on. I immediately got scared and called for my cat. She jumped on the bed and laid right beside me while I fed her sausage chunks. (don't ask me where I got these or why it's in my room for eating "anytime".) Shortly after that, she's no longer there and I get these fingers slowly wrapping themselves around my wrist one by one. It let's out a snarl and starts to pull my arm towards its mouth. I tried to move, grab onto bitchy babe, let out a scream, cry, but nothing happened.

I immediately woke up and was scared shit-less. I had to get away from the edge of the bed and scoot closer to my boyfriend and hold onto his hip and stare on that side to make sure there was nothing that was going to grab me again. I pulled the covers up to my mouth, even though I was already too hot. I just wanted as much protection as possible. I laid there for a good hour at 5:30am, before I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. I tried to think of other thoughts to get my mind off of it, but nothing was happening. All I could think about was all the stuff I had experienced myself in this house.

Like the time I was on the toilet in the middle of the night, with no lights on, the bathroom curtain closed and feeling something, or someone, slowly, and lightly sliding their finger down my back.

Something running across my pillow causing a loud shuffling in my ear that immediately woke me. Could have been a dream, but I'm not so sure.

This late occurrence happened a few nights ago when my boyfriend and I were watching a movie with all the lights off. I started hearing my automatic trash can opening and closing over and over for a good 30-45 seconds until I told my boyfriend to go turn it off. It has a sensor that opens once you get near it and it stopped as soon as he walked towards it. So he went and sat back down and then about a few minutes later it does it again. At this point I'm a little freaked out, since it SHOULDN'T be doing that at all. I tell my boyfriend to please turn it off, he gets up again and turns the light on and says WTF, you better not have gotten something in my house and turns the trash can off. (something, meaning ghost since he thinks somehow watching these ghost shows lets them through the gate to come into our home) Who knows, he could be right, but I still have my doubts. I've turned the trash can on since then and have had no reoccurring opening and closing repeatedly.

I never understood why the kids when we moved always said this house was haunted, but now I'm starting to wonder if its actually true with all the weird occurrences.

Now you hopefully understand why I sleep with the lights on when my boyfriend is gone for days at a time.

Suicide Girl of the Week - No Name Sexy Redhead

2011-10-03T16:43:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately I do not know this Suicide Girls name, and I have no way of knowing or enough time to search the interwebz. If you know, please suggest it in a comment!

I posted this one because she's not only beautiful, but she has my hair color, which makes her even more awesome.

Evolved Flexems Bendable Vibrator Review

2011-09-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

Evolved Flexems Bendable Vibrator.
The name is a mouthful and the vibe will fill your pussy up!

I don't usually name my toys, but from the moment I saw this vibe on Tabu Toys' site I called it "Bender". I'm a Futurama fan and have always had a crush on Bender the robot. He's got that bad boy quality that I like.

I was very excited when Bender arrived the other day. I was even more excited that he came in a tin box with a seal able plastic lid. The tin box is pretty cool. It has a plastic holder fitted just for the vibe that is easily removed for cleaning. I was a bit bummed that a corner of the plastic lid had broken off. I assume it broke during shipping as pieces of the lid were included in the plastic Fed Ex bag. Perhaps the delivery man tossed it too hard onto my front deck. No harm done to the toy so no foul.

The description listed on Tabu Toy's might be for a different version as it not the exact same thing I will describe. The toy requires 3 AAA batteries as clearly labeled on the back of the tin box. The site listed 2 AA batteries. The measurements I took are 8.5" x 6" and the site listed 8.5" x 2" which really seemed strange to me. Perhaps I wasn't measuring correctly either. After you folks buy this toy, measure it and see what you get. Even at the tip of the vibe this toy is 4" around. Regardless of its exact measurements, Bender is a perfect fit for my pussy.

Since I had so much fun letting my Darling assist me with the review of my last toy, I asked for his assistance once again. I was glad he was there to help because the battery container would not come out for me. He had to beat Bender like a ketchup bottle. The container is very easy to get back into place as it has grooves to line up and pictures if you are feeling extra dumb. Bender turns on with the push of his bottom and has 3 soothing levels of vibration. He's very quiet at each of these levels. The lowest is so quiet that Darling could not hear it from our bathroom that is adjacent to our bedroom. This would be the perfect toy for someone who really wants a vibe but not one that is overly intense or loud that most vibes feature. It's more like a handheld massage device. Although since it's been in my vagina I will never use it to sooth my aching shoulder muscles.

No lube was needed as my pussy was dripping wet with all the teasing my Darling was doing with Bender. He was pushing Bender on my clit going through each level of vibration. I started to move my hands down and steer Bender into my juicy pussy but Darling pushed my hand back. He said I could have both hands on my tits or on his cock but nowhere else. It was so hawt the way he whispered in my ear and bit my neck. He pushed the vibe against my cunt and morphed the shape of Bender. Now he was really teasing me! Darling slipped his fingers in my pussy as he continued to let Bender massage my clit. When he finally let me have my toy inside of me it was so fucking amazing I almost came right away! He bent the toy inside of me and moved it all around. It was feeling so fucking good. When he bent it at a full 90 degree angle it did hurt a bit and I made him straighten Bender out. He gave the inside of my pussy a break and pushed Bender to my clit as he fingered me again. I asked for cock and my Darling obliged. He brought his cock to my mouth and shoved the slightly bent Bender inside my pussy again. He moved through the vibration levels as he fucked my pussy with Bender and my face with his cock. It was unbelievably sexy! I came all over his hand and he came deep in my throat. Mmmm cock!! It was a wonderful first experience with my new toy, Bender.

I've used him twice alone since then and I just love my Bender toy. I love him when he's slightly bent but at that near 90 degree angle he's just too uncomfortable for my cunt. The way he conforms to my body when I'm sitting in the tub or shower is perfect. I think I might have to take him in the shower with me again today! He's listed as $68 on Tabu Toys and worth every penny. I'll be checking out other Evolved Novelties for toys that are along the same line as Bender.

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the Evolved Flexems Bendable Vibrator free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Nina Hartley's Guide to Double Penetration Review

2011-09-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since we did a vid review so here's a good one for you, Nina Hartley's Guide to Double Penetration. Tabu Toys happen to have a few Nina Hartley guides up for review and I wondered how much of a guide can an old lady be? Damn she can spank me anytime for calling her old! She has a better body than I do but her face, hands and voice give away the age. After watching her guide on DP there will not be any further age discrimination on my part again.

Now she isn't geriatric or anything but she is up there in years. The video truly is a guide for anyone and everyone. It wasn't what I was expecting at all. I expected an old gross, saggy vagina getting fucked by two rotted old rods. This guide was done by professional porn stars and it shows.

The first 20 minutes are Nina and Kylie Ireland taking about what Double Penetration is and all there is to it. They really go into detail about how to prepare yourself and your partners for the DP event. My first impression was overly judgmental of Nina's age and how her voice whistles when she talks. Her voice sounds like a regular grandmother's and her on screen attitude is that of a very caring yet motherly person. I was glad she starts out fairly covered up but Kylie is topless through out the entire intro and at times shows off her beautiful pussy. The way they discussed everything about DP and their experiences with it was very enlightening and educational. It was like a discussion group on sex lead by two porn stars. During the intro Kylie reads a few DP related questions from 'the readers.' They go over how important it is to prepare for double penetration and make sure your body can handle it. Not everyone can handle DP even if they want to try it. If you don't like anal then DP is not for you. Nina does tell of a women who only likes anal if it's DP so perhaps if you are curious then try it alone with a toy.

I've never had two dicks in me at once but I have had a toy and a dick at the same time as well as two toys. I'd be willing to try two cocks at once but I know my darling won't be up for it. On special sexy occasions my Darling and I will grab one of my many amazing toys. I have a select few that are designated for ass play. I love the feeling of being so filled up and the vibrations of the toy make the pleasurable feelings so much more intense.

After the girls get done talking about DP, Nina gets down to business. She get doubly penetrated by two hunks, one she's worked with for years and one she's never been with. Again I wasn't sure what to expect but these people all had really nice bodies and knew how to fuck each other. The fellas seduced the wetness from her and she sucked the fuck outta their cocks. They showcase all the many ways two guys can fuck a woman without it being the least bit gay. I like most folks misunderstood a 2 guys/1gal threesome. These men didn't pay one bit of attention to each other, they were completely there to fuck her. It was pretty hot.

The next part is a porn scene made special for this guide. The acting is about as good as porn acting gets but you get the message they're trying to put out there. Couples should be prepared and honest about their feelings when it comes to inviting another person in their bedroom so to speak. Nikita Denise takes on two bulky porn star hunks in this DP scene. Evan Stone plays her boyfriend, he is not handsome in my opinion. He looks like what I imagine a steroid would look like if it had a face and balls. The two straight men have their way with Nikita and she loves it.

There are a couple more separate sex scenes that were a bit of a joke but still kind of hot. The bonus scene and behind the scenes clips were good. The behind the scenes clips had a lot of laughing and joking around. I understood why Nikita's acting was as bad as it was. She was laughing so hard her nose snorted between takes.

All in all this was an excellent guide that I would recommend to anyone. Whether you have a wonderful partner to share sexual adventures with or whether you are having your own adventure alone, this is the double penetration guide for you. I will definitely pick up another Nina Hartley guide again. Most of Nina's guides are about $25 and more than 60 minutes long. The bonus features add more time but not too much. Thank you Tabu Toys for the erotic education in double penetration.

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the Nina Hartley's Guide to Double Penetration free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

My Panty Worries Have Finally Been Solved

2011-09-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

Since I've been busy with school and trying to keep up with this blog stuff, I haven't really bothered to check out EdenFantasys much. Well tonight I decided to take and peek and see if they added any new and exciting items, since they usually do every week. Even multiple times sometimes!

I'm browsing and noticing a lot of lingerie, YES!!! Who can't use morelingerie to spice things up a bit? Then I hit the jackpot, NEW SEXY PANTIES!!The panty gods were definitely looking down on me and answered my helplesspanty prayers, no thanks to you guys. Guess asking where you all buy yourpanties is a bit odd, but damnit, I was sincerely wondering. Not because Iwanted to think of you in said undergarment and then Jill off. Okay maybe alittle bit. But since none of you responded, I am going to have to assume thatyou all wear granny panties. ;)

Are you going to take that from me? You bet your sweet assyou will! (Flexes)

Now I must run off to get my Vintage doll lace booty shortfrom EdenFantasys before they’re all gone, and I’m left lost in cotton grannypanty land, since clearly fruit of loom doesn’t know what’s sexy.

Until next time…

Where Do You Buy Your Panties?

2011-09-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Anyone know a good, yet inexpensive place to find cute panties that aren't size 2? I am having a hard time finding the type I liked (satin string bikini cut) and am in dire need of new ones, since they're finally starting to shred! LOL

I found these, but my experience with lace is that they don't last long and rip easily because they're delicate. So meh.

So now I'm continuously browsing, browsing and browsing and finding a shit ton of granny panties. Why are these still being made? And why the fuck are people still buying them? I'd rather saw myself off at the hips than wear something remotely close to granny panties that make me look like my entire back and ass has been eatin' by the cotton monster.

So help a girl out...

Adult Deluxe Hooded Dress Costume

2011-09-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

I seen this Hooded Dress Plus Size Costume on Wholesale Halloween Costumes and figured this would be a great versatile robe that could be used for almost anything "dark"; vampire, witch, sorcerer, you name it. The great thing is, all it takes is a little bit of accessories to make the outfit creepy, so without a doubt you get more bang for your buck with this dress.

I tried it on and it doesn't have any stretch to it, which I kind of expected, but surprisingly it fit me well. From the picture it looked like it was form fitting to accentuate your curves, which is accurate. So I say if you're bigger than a size 18 and don't have a proportionate body type, then you will not be fitting into this costume comfortably. It has a criss/cross ribbon detailing for your midsection, which doesn't really stay flat and nice like the picture shows. It kind of crinkles and goes crooked, but there's not much you can do about that. I just wished it was a better quality ribbon, maybe thicker material, so it would be easier to flatten, maybe.

The material of the hooded dress isn't thin or see through and it should hold up pretty good. I'd say if you're going to wash it, do so, but don't stick it in the dryer, since you probably don't want it shrinking, etc.

Overall, I'm pretty happy with this costume and plan to wear it years to come since gown costumes are timeless!

Thanks to Wholesale Halloween Costumes for providing this costume free of charge in exchange for my honest and fair review. Wholesale Halloween Costumes carries plus size costumes, costumes for adults, children, pets, accessories and more. Don't hesitate to check them out so you can score a good deal!

10 Celebrities We Wouldn't Bang

2011-09-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Last year, we did a topic of the 10 Celebrities We'd Like to Bang, which is one of our top visited posts. So now we'd like to do one about celebs we wouldn't bang, even with a bag over their heads.

Although we're both selecting our own 10, it's safe to say that we wouldn't fuck any of the ones listed below.

Poptart's 10 Picks:

Dog the Bounty Hunter - There's something about Dog that I just can't put my finger on. Hmm I wonder what it is? Shave your god damn mullet Dog, it's not the 80s anymore! I can't help but picture his penile region having the same damn pubic hair-do, bleached and all.

Mr. Bean - Has made a mark with his quirky faces, that don't help his already unattractive features. He also oddly resembles an ex of mine and I'd rather gash my eyes out then go there, AGAIN!

Ron Jeremy - Even though he's supposedly has this huge dick that most fiend over, I couldn't look past his gross, fat, greasy exterior. I won't even watch any porn with him in it, for the simple fact that I don't want to have to pray to the porcelain gods. I did that last week and it wasn't fun!

Carrot Top - I'm going to call him the "Transformer" since he has gone through a complete transformation in the last 16 years. Some say he's done roids, which is probably true, considering the weird disproportionate muscle mass on his arms, as well as plastic surgery. I don't know whether to pull out my baseball bat and beat it (since he closely resembles the tank in left 4 dead) or run away. Either way, I wouldn't get close enough to fuck it!

Clint Howard - I'm not quite sure what men are thinking when they leave their hair similar to Mr. burns on the simpsons. Why not just shave it all of since you already don't have hair on the most important part of your head? Also, teeth are a big thing for me and it looks like his mom mated with a horse and then gnawed on some cans with his jacked up grill.

Steve Buscemi - Has always been and odd looking fella, but his funny personality made up for it. However, I've noticed that he closely resembles Gollum from Lord of the Rings and I can't help but think he would be whispering "my precious" while going at it and that's just too creepy to justify.

Michael Jackson - Need I say more?

Tori Spelling - To me, Tori has an uncanny resemblance to both Donatella Versace and a horse. If I were her mother, I'd be asking a DNA expert to conduct some tests. I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR DICK, since her personality and lame ass reality television show is less entertaining than watching flies hover over the dog shit in my yard.

Jenna Jameson - Reminds me of skeletor and should probably lay off the plastic surgery and eat a big mac or 5. Even though I wouldn't fuck her, we all know that douche canoe Tito Ortiz will.

Jay-Z - I'm not sure what Beyonce sees in this ugly ass man, besides money, since he's clearly lacking any real talent. "Jigga, that's my mothafuckin' name."
I feel like if I got remotely close to his lips, they would suck me into a vortex and swallow me whole. Although it might not be too bad if he motor boated down below. That's about as far as I would go though.

Bitchin' Babe's 10 Picks:

Ryan Seacrest -

He annoys me with the shows he hosts. He looks like a toothpick and I bet he's got a tiny toothpick pecker too. I bet I would make him cry if I tried to have sex with him. That bony frame of his would just be uncomfortable against my hips.

Fred Willard - I really dislike hairy men. Fred Willard is hairy and it's gray hair too! He's so funny but just so eww! He's got a very weird uncle, but not really your uncle quality about him.

Kathy Griffin - I hear the music from The Crying Game when I see pictures of this woman. She's got a nice body but I think she has a penis taped to her thigh. It's probably really big too.

Rachel Dratch - She's kinda weird looking and oddly shapped. I bet she's awesome to hang out with but a terrible lay. I felt bad for Jimmy Kimmel when he had to make out with her on the set of SNL.

Steve Carell - Hairy. I absolutely hate getting hair in my mouth! It would be so gross to put my arms on his shoulders and feel all that hair.

Charlie Sheen - He's old now and barely looks like the hunk I fell for in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. His looks not only got worse but so did his attitude. I hear he's getting better now that he's got all those legal troubles. He's a lot of baggage is what he is.

Sylvester Stallion - Once a upon a time he had a really good body and you could get past the half frozen face to fuck him. Now Sly is looking like a convicted rapist who just moved into the suburbs.

Okay my next three are all really awful and all women, suprised? Me neither. As I was looking at these women I not only got replused but I got scared. I was the same kind of scared that I get when I play video games. So here are my top three celebs that I will never fuck.

Amy Winehouse - Oh yikes! She's very crazy looking and that makes me stand back right away. She'd probably attack me head on and fast. I'd have to run around and shoot her a lot. One good shot between the legs and she'd go down no problem.

Jillian Michaels - Holy crap this women is going to eat me and not how I like. I bet Jillian ignores all safe words. She's not only going to make me her bitch but she'll probably kill me a few times. To kill this beast use land mines and turrets.

Donnatella Versace - OMG WHAT KIND OF MONSTER IS THAT?!! I would vomit if I had to see that naked. That's how she kills, she just gets naked. People around her die from the massive amount of puking they do. She is the biggest and toughest game boss of all. Her vagina opens up to reveal the fires of hell!! Her tits are heat seeking missiles that will find you up to 100 yards and slap you across the face. If you encounter this boss then you won the game cause' there is no beating her.

Sex Position of the Week - Banana Split

2011-09-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

Since it's hump-day, nothing is more appropriate than the sexual position of the week - Banana Split. I'm sure most of you have tried this or different variations, so why don't you tell us if it's hot or not?

The woman lies face down on the bed, resting on her elbows. Once her lover slips inside, she slides her legs out very wide, so that they are almost perpendicular to her torso. He can remain higher up, supporting himself with extended arms, or drop down onto his elbows for extra contact. (If he lowers down, he needs to make sure the weight is comfortable for her. It's hard to get excited when you're being crushed!) For an added jolt, she can loosen and tighten his PC muscles to alternate sensations for him.

"What's in it for Her" - Extra-deep penetration and the feeling of friction on your pubic bone will send a spine-tingling jolt throughout your body, as both your g-spot and clitoris receive attention. Suggest a sexy mutual massage with oil before maneuvering into this position to add a sweet, slippery sensation.

"What's in it for Him" - In this position, you will get to go deep, deep, deep while getting an amazing view of her backside. If she feels comfortable with you exploring her nether regions, you can get an added thrill out of teasing and fondling her anus.

Suicide Girl of the Week - Binx

2011-09-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

Our Suicide Girl of the Week is Binx from Los Angeles, California.

age: 24 (Dec 28, 1986)

occupation: poop inspector

i lost my virginity: to a cucumber

body mods: boob job

heroes: Harry Potter

makes me happy: gidget my puppy and self medicating

sign: capricorn

into: boobies, puppies, alcohol, lesbians, butt sex, picking my nose, pointing and laughing at others, discussing famous people's private lives, smugly acting intellectual
not into: bladder infections, being cold, pimples, sports, republicans, picking up dog poop, mormons
makes me sad: small penises, wal mart, Mormons, republicans, anal leakage, mole people, warren jeffs, watching animal cops, Tyra banks
hobbies: pooping, picking my nose, discussing brangelina, participating in the Olympics
5 things i can't live without: my puppy gidget, the internet, lean cuisines, anal lube
vices: when people sniffle up snot and swallow it. just effing spit it out!
thoughts on sg: I love it
i spend most of my free time: picking my nose and surfing the internet

Want to do a Sex Toy Review for Us?

2011-09-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

If anyone's interested in reviewing a sex toy for us at Sleeping in the Wet spot, let us know. I just started school, so I'm going to be busier than normal and would like to keep the review aspect of our blog going. I will continue to do posts as my schedule permits.

I would like someone who isn't too busy and could get the review done in 2 weeks after receiving the product from the affiliate. Also, in exchange for setting up this opportunity, we'd love for you to put our button on your blog. If this one at the bottom of our blog doesn't suit your fancy, I can make a more appealing one.

If this sounds like something you'd be interested in, don't hesitate to leave a comment or email. =)

I Will Never Be Bridezilla, Because I'm Just Eloping!

2011-09-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have never seen Bridezilla before, but the title alone peeked my interest, so I decided to watch a few episodes of the marathon last night and was shocked at this Long Island broad. How could these men want to marry these annoyingly bitchy women who freak out over every little thing, are abusive physically and mentally and are complete and utter gutter trash?

Let's just say they must have found their perfect match, because almost all go through with it and then we wonder why the divorce rate is so high.

Stupid, stupid. I will never watch that shit again!

Seductive School Girl Costume

2011-09-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had the fantasy of role playing as a naughty little school girl? I don't know it is about it, but it's extremely hot.

So I decided to order the Seductive school girl costume on EdenFantasys to act out in. I was surprised at how many pieces it has to the whole ensemble, so it deemed worthy of the price. It comes with a red woven plaid kilt with 2 side buckles and black lace hem, a black twill jacket with red plaid trim/buttons and a school girl patch, a fishnet teddy with a mini red plaid kilt with lace hem and attached crotchless panties. It also features gray knit knee high socks and a white collar with an attached red plaid tie. Everything fit perfectly, except the jacket. It was a bit snug and I couldn't even close the buttons together. Now, I'm not a super "fluffy" girl and I don't have a huge gut, so even though it says it fits sizes 18-22, it will probably only fit a 14/16 comfortably. I figured since I'm generally a size 18, I would have a bit of breathing room to accommodate my body, since 22 is a lot bigger. But as with all costumes, they tend to run smaller than normal, so I should kind of expect it by now.

It's a decently made costume, but it just wasn't for me, so I decided to sell it on Craigslist rather than dealing with returning it. The guy who bought it from me, probably had the same fantasy that he wanted to act out with his girlfriend, so at least someone is happy in the end. ;)

My Boobies Make the World Go Round'

2011-09-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

I was home alone last week while my boyfriend went to his usual Wednesday night Magic the Gathering Tournament. Yes, he's that big of a dork, but that's what I love about him. He texted me later on, saying that he has a bye round and he's bored. So I decided to do what I've wanted to do for a while now and take a naughty picture and send it to him while he's not with me. My phone is pretty crappy, so I figured I should just get the digi cam out and upload it to the computer and send it to his email since he has 3g. I said, "You have mail", he replies, "ut oh".

"Very nice, I must now go to the bathroom", he says. Somehow I doubted that, since he's too much of a nerd to leave his spot. But boy did he come pounce on me as soon as he got home. Grabbed my boobies and kissed them from behind the couch and then kissed me upside down. I immediately felt like I was in the Spiderman movie.

We then went upstairs. I wanted to shower before hopping in bed, while he read his book for a bit. He put his book down shortly after I arrived and looked at me like he wanted to devour me whole. All I could think was, 'damn I need to take naughty pictures for you more often'. You should, he says.

He starts kissing every inch of my body, slowly moving downtown. He decides he's going to tongue fuck me since he hasn't in a while. Oh my god, there's just something about having a wet tongue inside you. It's thrilling, it's fun and it feels oh so good. Although he doesn't have a Gene Simmons appendage, it still gets the job done, since he has the skills to give great thrills.

Now I cannot wait to surprise him with another pic, but what shall it be?

Why Yes, I Would Love Some Schweddy Balls!

2011-09-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

You're probably thinking this is going to be about real, sweaty balls, but you're wrong! Ben & Jerry's has just released a new ice cream flavor called Schweddy Balls, that they created as a tribute to the SNL Skit below.

Not only do I have to try this flavor because of the name, also because I love balls in my mouth.

The flavor is made up of "vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum balls and milk chocolate malt balls."

Your mouth is probably watering right now, right?

These are only in 30% stores for a limited time. So if you find these before I do, let me know how good those balls taste!

Purple Plunge Vibe, Not To Be Confused With a Plunger...

2011-09-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

If Barney the purple dinosaur was to have a wang, this is exactly how I'd envision it, with bumps, ridges and girth.

I selected this toy because I was curious about it's girth. To me it's not super girth-y, but more like the perfect size to really "fill" you up at 1 3/4 diameter, unless you're one of those loosey goosey's who gets fisted just to feel anything. However, that's about the only thing really going for this toy, as it's a pretty average run of the mill silicone vibrator; nothing really special. In fact, I had to use my lipstick vibrator on my clit just to get off, since this was not really doing it for me. Granted I could have rubbed my clit with this Purple Plunge Vibe, but I wanted to be filled, because nothing is greater than having an orgasm than with something inside you.

This toy has ridges and bumps at the base, but I could only fit it's 7 inch length in to the third ridge and then it started to hit my cervix and that's never fun. I didn't really "feel" these so called ridges for extra stimulation, but maybe that's a good thing since I hate things that are too profound, since they usually start irritating my insides.

I used this toy in bed, but you can definitely use it in the shower or tub for a unique experience, since it's water-friendly. The vibrations aren't super strong, nor are they loud, but they're definitely strong enough to give you a pleasureful time with the turn dial at the bottom of the vibe.

I'd like to give a big thanks to Good Vibrations for allowing me to test this toy free of charge, in order to give a fair and honest review. If you're looking for more than a vibrator, you can you find other glorious sex toys through their numerous online selection.

Hey Everyone, WE USE DILDOS and We're Proud of IT or Something!

2011-09-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

At least this is what my boyfriend likes to announce to the world, such as close friends, friends he works with, etc. I wouldn't mind as much if he went about it in a different way, rather than yelling that my dildo has arrived whenever I get a package and friends are over. I should have mentioned that it was that butt plug he's been always wanting. (Not really, but you get the idea.) I just don't think I'm evil enough to say it out-loud. It's a tad embarrassing when they think you're this shy little girl, who ends up not being that shy at all. Needless to say, I turned red when I opened the package and looked in it, because he was right. Oh yea, he had to point that out too. Sometimes I order so much shit online, that I get multiple packages a week and can't keep track of what's coming, so even it's a surprise to me! I rushed upstairs, hid the entire package underneath the bed and guess who goes looking for it because he's nosy, yes you guessed it, the motherfucking man with the loose vaginal lips.

AND, Apparently his friends are curious, sexual creatures because one of them found sleeping in the wet spot on face book and actually clicked through to this blog. I don't get how either, because it has no ties with my normal account, nor do I "like" it and neither do any of my friends. Once he realized it was me and my sexcapades, he decided he better not read any further, which is probably a good thing. We went to Las Vegas with him after that, so at least it didn't end up being weird and such. He just now assumes I'm a freak.

Bitchin' Babe had her own embarrassing moment around the time I had mine. She was gone for the day and her boyfriend had his best friend over and she had forgotten to move her platinum bunny out of plain site in the den when she was changing batteries. Needless to say his best friend had picked it up, hid it behind the desk out of view and she came home and thanked her man. He says for what? For hiding my toy, so no one seen it. "I didn't do it", he says. So now his friend has seen her giant rabbit vibrator, probably had sexual thoughts of her using it and jacked himself off later that evening. So gross!

Do you have any embarrassing moments with sex toys?

Extreme Platinum Rabbit Vibrator

2011-09-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

Tabu Toys sent me a Tasmanian dildo disguised as a rabbit! The Extreme Platinum Rabbit Vibrator is certainly "extreme" among its many other descriptions. This toy sparkles and shines beautifully! It's so pretty that one might mistake it for a piece of modern art or even an office knickknack. (That's another story.) The toy has 7" of length to be inserted and an external clit simulation with good length as well.  The 8 rows of rotating, non-jamming beads contribute to this loud buzzing toy. It advertises a high and low speed but I only felt one. It requires 4 full strength AA batteries to work and is waterproof.

It doesn't come with batteries. When the batteries get low the intensity slows down at first but shortly thereafter it will completely stop working. The buttons for adjusting the intensity glow in the dark. I really only felt one level of power with this toy, EXTREME! It's really strong in so many ways. The clit stimulator beat the fuck outta my clit and I liked it!  It didn't matter whether the power was set at high or low, the vibration felt greater than average toys. With the push of a button the internal beads will spin to the left or right depending on your preference. My Darling found that going back and forth very fast increases the vibration level even more!

I enlisted his help on my first test of this amazing toy. As we watched some girly masturbate online he lubed my toy up for me with the sample packet of Hydra that was included with the vibrator. The length felt fantastic but I nearly jumped out of bed when he turned it on. I liked how it felt like a jackhammer in my pussy! I was in the mood for rough sex and my hunny was delivering! He let me take control for a bit to prove the high/low settings didn't adjust anything. I took it in as much as I could, loving the constant thwap, thwap on my clit. Darling stole my toy back and began to tease me a bit. He angled the vibrator so just the tip was inside me and the bunny ears hit my hood. He kept switching the direction of the beads but I could only feel the tops of them inside me. Ohhhh gawwwd it felt goood!! He shoved the toy inside my pussy and rotated in full circles a few times. I bite down on the pillow to keep from screaming too loud and he settled the bunny ears back on my clit. It was fantastic the way he kept swooshing the bunny ears across my clit. As I started to cum he angled the rabbit again but this time kept it deep inside me. It was incredible! My pussy was feeling tremors for the next 30 minutes. I had a wonderful time testing this toy out with my Darling.

I did try it out alone and barely lasted 5 minutes.  It really has an extreme intensity. If your clam doesn't care to be drilled open, then this toy would be too much for you. All in all this is a great toy. It should come with a warning for the loudness but it certainly earned the title of Extreme. For when you want/need a good hard fucking, pick up Extreme Platinum Rabbit Vibrator to satisfy those urges. Thank you Tabu Toys!

The nice folks at TabuToys.com sent me this toy free of charge, in exchange for an honest review of the product. TabuToys.com offers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations. And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’ve been looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Evolved Symphony Dolphin Review

2011-09-04T18:59:00.000-07:00

I'm always interested in trying or experimenting with new toys as you already know. So this time around I decided to give the Symphony Dolphin in aqua by Evolved a whirl. When it came in the mail from TabuToys, I always immediately check them out right away, not use them per say, but to see how they work just by turning them on. It came with a reusable tin case for protection and storage, just like my other Evolved toy, which is a nice bonus This one I had a bit of difficulty with in the battery compartment. It takes 2AA batteries, but in order to turn it on, you have to pull out the plastic battery contraption inside of the dolphin and insert the batteries, then shove the contraption back in. This caused it to be a really tight fit, I figured I would probably have problems trying to get it out in the future.

I then turned the Symphony Dolphin on by clicking the button at the very bottom of the toy, which made it only turn on to the lowest speed setting. There are supposed to be 2 more higher speed settings by pressing the button again and again and then the 4th click turns it off. Well, this isn't what happened. It wouldn't change from the first speed, nor would it turn off until I unscrewed the bottom part where the batteries were. I tried to take the batteries out to see if they might be somewhat low, or dead, but I don't think it would have turned on if that was the case. I then realized oh, the contraption is stuck, can't get it out with my fingers or nails, so I had to go get the scissors and pull it out with those. TabuToys kindly sent me a replacement since I think this first one I got was just a bad toy.

The second one arrived and I figured well, I'll probably still have issues with the batteries, which I did. But this time the toy actually changed speed settings and turned off without twisting the bottom. This is the first time I've ever had a toy not work properly out of all the toys I've tested, so it rarely happens.

I decided I should probably try this thing out to see if it really does work. My first thought is that the vibrations from the embedded bullets in the shaft and dolphin weren't too speedy, just by touching it to my hand. I figured I probably wouldn't climax with this toy, but to my surprise I sure as hell did AND it only took like 15 seconds, literally. I always make sure I'm in the mood first before trying out any toys, and to get me excited I usually watch some porn. A lot of the times lesbian tribbing porn since it's so sexy. All I had to do after watching that was insert the 6" vibrating symphony inside of me on the lowest setting, while the dolphin part touched my clit. It was absolutely wonderful. I thought I'd end up hating this toy because of all the frustration it caused me, but no, I liked it. Just wished Evolved would fix the battery issue, because it's still rather annoying. Next time I try this out, it will be in the shower since it's fully waterproof.

The nice folks at TabuToys.com sent me this toy free of charge, in exchange for an honest review of the product. TabuToys.com offers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations. And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’ve been looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Is It Time to Shop for Costumes Yet?

2011-09-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Summer's ending and fall is slowly creeping up, which means Halloween is near. You can never be too prepared when it comes to getting items for parties a couple months in advance, which is why I'm going shopping on EdenFantasys for costumes soon. They have added a few new costumes in multiple sizes and I'm absolutely ecstatic since you can really only wear a costume once ever, if you're going to the same peoples' party every year.

They also have a couple mens costumes this time around and I may end up getting my boyfriend the lumberjack wood pecker since it's absolutely hilarious. The best part about it is, you can store a couple cans of beer in the "wood" pecker, but my only concerns is that it may be too heavy to be dangling around. Oh well, it will definitely get a few laughs, but probably not as much as the human centipede costume someone created and pulled off with blow up dolls last year.

I myself, have my eyes on the seductive school girl costume since it looks like it's top notch quality. I mean it better be for $75. I also like it since it comes with a lot of accessories, like the jacket, mini kilt, collar tie, attached crotchless panties, knee high socks and the attached teddy. I just hope it's not super short, or else someone's getting a show!

Suicide Girls of the Week - Evette & Posh

2011-08-31T12:38:00.000-07:00

This weeks Suicide Girls are Evette & Posh in Downtown

RockFest, Rocked My Fucking Balls Off!

2011-08-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

I had a blast at Rockfest on Sunday, and the greatest part is it was FREE cause' I won those tickets on the Facebook contest. We were going to pay regardless, since we wanted to support the "save the rock" cause, but winning made it even better!

I usually don't listen to All That Remains or Five Finger Death Punch all that much, but those two bands really have a great stage presence and they're pretty fucking awesome with crowd interaction, which made me like them all the more. I have a new found respect for FFDP as well, since they brought some of the 5-10 year olds that were in the pit up on stage. Don't ask me why they were in there, since one girl came out with a bloody, broken nose, imagine what could happen to a young child when people are punching, shoving and be downright assholes.

Korn was there as well, but I wasn't as excited to see them, since I had just seen them perform at another venue and got my taste for them live. It was still great to hear them again though and I now have a favorite song that I've been replaying over and over today that they released a couple months ago with Skrillex.

Take a listen and tell me what you think!?

How Do YOU Tease Your Partner?

2011-08-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

I think I've pretty much mastered the art of teasing my boyfriend into getting horny. Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do to get a tired, hard working man in the mood.

If I know he's leaving to go do his geeky magic the gathering tournament, I'll pull my shirt down under my boobs and just let them lay there when he isn't looking and then when he goes in for a kiss, he gets a nice boob-a-licious surprise, which in turn makes him want to touch & suckle them, which then makes him get a boner. He says you're trying to get me to stay, aren't you? Why yes, is it working? Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I probably do it far too often for it to be too enticing anymore.

Then while we're laying in bed, he loves to read his George R.R. Martin books and I like to grind against his penis with my bare ass. I'll flex my butt-cheeks to a beat on him, and do little hip shaking moves while he's spooning me. Definitely takes the focus off of his book and onto something else. I then stop for a little while so his member can grow, do it a few more times, then stop altogether until he's full fledged in the mood and then act like I'm not. He tells me I'm an evil, evil woman, but he loves it and so do I!

We then proceed to hump like bunnies and it makes it all the more fun.

How do YOU tease your partner into getting into the mood?

Sex Position of the Week - "X-Games"

2011-08-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

A little dexterity goes a long way toward adding spice to your sex life--this position is a testament to that. He lies down with only his head, shoulders, and upper back on the bed; his legs are upright and leaning against the wall. She positions herself so that her back is to him, and using the wall for support, squats onto his erect penis. Penetration is controlled, but then he can grab her ass and get down to the thrusting action.

What's in it for her:

Show off your hot bod, as he feels you up in any way that he pleases! In this position, his penis will rub against the front of your vaginal wall, where the elusive G-spot lives. Because you're standing, you're in the driver's seat and thrusting is easy. Grind your bottom half into your man then reach for his balls. He won't know what hit him!

What's in it for him:

You will work a little harder than in a prone position, but the view and the tingly sensations that come from the inversion will make it all worth-while.

Suicide Girl of the Week - Radeo

2011-08-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted Suicide Girls in a long time, but I'm hoping to start doing that more since it's summer and there's too much going on to focus on topics for sleeping in the wet spot. I think we all come to a block in the road at one point or another when it comes to writing.

Without further ado, your Suicide Girl of the Week is Radeo.

I absolutely love her leopard back tattoo, but does that mean when you fuck her, you're kind of into bestiality?

into: you

not into: weak hand shakes

makes me happy: costello my corgi, couch forts, surprises, superstitions & fortune cookies

makes me sad: when my remote control boat doesnt work.

hobbies: irony

5 things i can't live without: computer, sweet tea, ice cream, phone, and a little tlc. . im easy to please

vices: i only listen to love songs.

thoughts on sg: I love it

The Reality Show: The Bachelor

2011-08-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the post from Nora Mccoy I can't stop watching The Bachelor on ABC; it fascinates me that people try to find a soul mate on a television show. Brad is back after he failed to choose a girl a few years ago and I'm surprised that the show gave him another chance. He's down to just four girls now, so hopefully this year he'll find the right one. The show attempts to match an eligible bachelor with a spouse by allowing him to meet a large group of women. The competitor then reduces the potential matches by handing out roses to the women he wishes to spend more time with until he is down to four. With the final four the bachelor meets their families. When the women are reduced to three, the show sends them to exotic locations on overnight dates. Once they are eliminated to two, the women meet the bachelor's family. Often when he has decided on The One, he will propose to the chosen competitor. During some seasons of the show women have decided they are no longer interested in competing for that bachelor and leave. The show has also used past contestants in new seasons of The Bachelor. I record The Bachelor on my DVR and watch the show on my satellite TV from SATellite911.com. This system allows me to watch the show when it's convenient during my schedule.

Rippler Silicone Dildo Review

2011-08-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Good Vibrations sent me the Rippler Silicone Dildo to try out and it is a simple, yet pleasurable dildo. The Rippler is 7 ¼” long, 1 5/8”-1 7/8” in diameter so it has some girth to it as well as length. These are two of my favorite things when it comes to dildos. It does not vibrate alone, but you can add buzz for your beave' by slipping a vibrating cock ring around it!

The Rippler allows for fun masturbation in a super small shower stall. It can suction to the wall or floor without losing its grip. I first felt the rippling effects of this dildo in the shower. It seems like a natural water toy since it is a solid silicone dildo. I wasn't sure how to fuck a wall but the Rippler made that easy with it's erectness and suction. I just stuck it to the wall and went to town! The ripples that go from the head all the way down the shaft are what makes this toy awesome. The head is smooth and rounded with a circumcised look that really resembles an actual dick. The slight curve really does match a fully erect cock, as long as it's a super hard cock. I then placed the Rippler on the floor of my super small shower stall and enjoyed the those waves of pleasure. I could feel each of the little waves inside my pussy just rolling one right after the other. The base of the head as well as the base of the shaft have an extra ripple that will rub you the right way from the inside. I had a lot of fun with the Rippler in and out of the shower. Good Vibrations describes this toy as harnessable but suggests a larger O-ring than your average harness has. If I had one, I would try this out too! Thank you Good Vibrations for making my showers 20 minutes longer.

Want to Win a $50 EdenFantasys GiftCard? It Ends THIS Friday!!!

2011-08-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

If you'd like to win a $50 EdenFantasys Gift Card, please go check out ways to win over at The Amazon Addiction. You must follow the mandatory entry or else all other entries will be voided. It's easy peasy with the click of a mouse button.

You've heard me talk about all the great things I've received from EdenFantasys, so this should be great fun for you to indulge yourself with something both erotic and sexy.

Lately they've been adding a lot of new stuff to their inventory and if you win the gift card, don't forget at checkout that you can score a free item by clicking the big FREE button at the top of their web page. They even added something pretty damn cool to the mix, one of their newly printed t-shirts that says "I like things that go VROOOOM". Who doesn't? I need to get my sweet hands on one of those, just hope they're still in stock by the time I get around to it! If that doesn't suit your fancy, they have about 5 other free things to choose from, like their fabulous Tote bag. I ended up giving mine to my sister and she uses it as a diaper bag to carry her stuff around in. Kind of humorous, but it works! End they have two different vibrators to choose from. Pretty awesome to get free things in return for ordering off their website! It's not limited to 1 per account either. It's available for every order and the free items are always changing.

Now go win that gift card, DO IT!

A New Take on Oral Sex

2011-08-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

When I seen this, I immediately knew this would be a fun, but nightmarish way to spice up the oral sex time. And what guy wouldn't want to put their dick in an over-sized fluffy vagina slit? The only things that are creeping me out is all the straps, the bulging eyes and the way she looks like a creepy version of Jason Voorhees. I'd be scared if this thing was coming at me with a machete.

Now I Know My A, B, C's

2011-08-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

A – Age 29 damn the years that keep going by faster and faster!

B – Bed size: Queen, but I need a damn King with the man and cat in bed with me.

C – Chore you hate: all of them? seriously, I would love to be independently wealthy and have a maid.

D – Dad’s name: Jerry

E – Essential start your day item: Alarm clock .. if it wasn't for myhabit.com every morning, I wouldn't be using it. LOL

F – Favourite colour: Used to be pink, but now it's green.

G – Gold or Silver: either or, but if it's gold it has to be WHITE. Yellow is too tacky.

H – Height: 5’11

I – Instruments you play(ed): does rock band count?

K – Kids: 1 cat

L – Living arrangements: with boyfriend and thankfully no roommate

M – Mom’s name: Tina

N – Nicknames: Jenn, Jenaynay, poptart, evil poptart, geek in pink, queefzilla, vaginasaurus rex. The list goes on.

O – Overnight hospital stay other than births: none.

P – Pet Peeve: asking someone a question and not being answered.

R – Right or left handed: Right

S – Siblings: 1 sister, 2 half sisters, 2 half brothers, 1 step brother.

T – Time you wake up: 8:30

U- Underwear: bikini cut, wear them during the day but take them off in bed.

V – Vegetable you dislike:- hominy, worst fucking veggie ever and I hate my mom for forcing me to eat it!

W – Ways you run late: from browsing the web

X – X-rays you’ve had: Only x-rays i've had were on teeth. nothing else was serious enough for one.

Y – Yummy food you make: kung-pao chicken stir fry, slow cooker chicken salsa tacos, roast, 5 bean chili, pepper steak, pumpkin pancakes. I hate cooking for long periods of time, but if it involves a slow cooker, I'm usually down for it since i don't have to do it later on when I'm more busy.

Z – Zoo favorite: All of them, but more so the cute little seals that swim up to the window when they see you. I just want to jump in there and pet their cute lil nose.

FUCK Small Talk

2011-08-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend and I are complete opposites. I am shy and reserved around people I don't know and he can spark up a conversation with someone in the checkout isle, and talk to them like he's known them for a lifetime. I myself, usually won't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. It's just how I've always been. Do I hate my boyfriend for his outgoing personality? No, but sometimes I wished he would tone it down a bit.

This last weekend, we went to one of our friends' parties and he introduced us to his old boss, who happened to be a real chatter. I think my boyfriend got an awakening when he noticed that this old guy talks more than he does, so now he knows how it feels when he's being a chatty Kathy and others are trying to get away. I just smirked, since I was standing beside them the whole time listening to their conversation, but not really interpreting what they were saying. Kind of like that kid in Charlie Brown that you can't understand.

After someone dragged my boyfriend away, this old man started with the small talk, like "what do I do for work." I told him I do stuff on the internet. I wasn't really wanting to elaborate since he probably doesn't even know what the fuck the internet is, so I just left it at that. He goes oh really, like looking for a job? I shrugged and said sure, since I didn't really want to talk to him at all and definitely not after that remark. He then said he was going to go get some jungle juice and off he went.

This is exactly why I hate small talk. If I want to tell my whole life story to a random stranger, I will go up to you and start sharing my shit with you. Don't come up to me, start asking stuff and then judge me. He's lucky I didn't kick his old man balls all the way up to his chin so he'd look like Peter Griffin.

Even if I did have a professional career, I wouldn't want to share it with the world either, since everyone in a way is judgmental. And I'm sure one person or another would find something wrong with what I did.

Hell, even I am judgmental at times, like those women who wear leggings 10 times too small so you can see their cottage cheese ass and camel toe. It makes me want to come up to you and start tugging on your beef flaps. No one wants that and neither do I.

Does avoiding people because I hate small talk make me seem like an unfriendly bitch? Probably, but do I care? Not really. Next time someone asks what I do, I'm going to tell them I'm a phone sex operator or something of that sort.

Maybe they'll bug off right away, or maybe they won't.

Experience Exotic Sexual Art with Shunga Arousal Gel

2011-08-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

Hey there. The wife and I are always looking for new ways to expand our sexual horizons and our good friends at Babeland have allowed us to experience new and exciting products to stimulate our sex drive. Our most recent sexual escapade included a small token out of the Shunga line of Exotic Art, the Shunga Arousal Gel.

Foreplay is a very important part of being close as a couple. Don't get me wrong, the wife and I shack up and have a good fucking anytime and anywhere, but the lights are dim and the time is a plenty, we walk down that line of sexual exploration. No matter how long you've been together, you can always find new ways and excite and arouse and the Shunga Arousal Gel did just that. After placing a small dab of the gel onto my wife's pearl, I gently massaged it in for a good 5 minutes or so. At first, she didn't feel any tingly sensations, as she does with many of the other gels and oils that we own. Naturally, she was a little disappointed. After going at it for awhile, she began to feel a 'feel good' burning sensation. You know which one.

Night 2 was a lot better. After rubbing it in for another 5 minutes, the hot burning on her pearl made her all wet inside and out. The added stimulation definitely had her arching her back more than usual and that makes me a happy camper. The sex was hot and the great thing is that the burning lingered well after we were done. This is definitely the gel that keeps on pleasuring!

Night 3 was another night of experiments. The instructions say that you may need to use it for 3 consecutive days for the full effect but the wife and I were already moving on and trying to find different uses for it. I rubbed a little more on her pearl for another 5 minutes and that brought back the same burning sensations from the night before. Being the adventurous types that we are, we decided to rub some of it on my head and see where it lead us. As with the wife, I didn't feel much at first and figured that I might have to go through the same 3 day rule that my wife went through. Fuck that, the wife decided to have a little more fun and decided to rub some gel generously into the boys. That I felt instantly. A burning sensation filled my loins and the moment they felt the heat, I felt it in my head. What an awesome feeling it is! With both of us at max sensation, our sex was on fire!

All in all, this is not a bad product to start off if you're new to sexual escapades. It's a great starter to have if you're planning on building a collection or it's great as a gift for that bachelorette party. Either way, this is a solid 3 out of 5 stars. The fact that you may have to wait 3 days until you really start feeling it may turn off some of the more experienced couples but if you're taking it slow and steady, this is definitely for you.

Married couples are no longer confined to traditional love making rules. It doesn't have to be boring. It's doesn't have to be bland. Every couple knows their limits but you won't know where those limits are unless you go out there and have some kinky fun. There are many products out there for new adventurers and experienced adventurers and our friends at Babeland will have the right adventure for you. Happy sexing! Later!

Apparently You Love Alexis Amore!

2011-08-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

I never heard of Alexis Amore until I requested her fake vagina for my boyfriend, which apparently you all seemed to have enjoyed, since it's still one of my most popular viewed reviews.

I still don't know too much about Alexis Amore so this is going to be more of a "who the fuck is she" type of post...

She was born on December 29th, 1978, so she's currently 32 years old and is from the country Peru. When she was 9 years old, her and her parents decided to move to the good ol' USA and settled in Redondo Beach, California. In high school, she did some modeling jobs for local advertisements and was told she should apply for Playboy. She took they're advice and was hired as a Playboy model on TV. In her career, she met many adult-film stars and was curious about the business, so she got in touch with vivid video. Then one thing led to another and she became an adult film star in 1999. And if you couldn't already tell, she has big fake titties!

So now when you see Alexis Amore being pounded like a dirty little whore, you'll feel that much closer to her when you envision fucking her tight little ass!

Get Kinky Tonight!

2011-08-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

If you like all things Kinky, then I suggest you head on over to Kinky Liqueurs Facebook page and request one of their "Get Kinky Tonight" rubber bracelets.

OhMyGod I Love OhMiBod

2011-08-06T11:21:00.001-07:00

I'm excited to try out my new toy from EdenFantasys called the OhMiBod Freestyle. This one is unique because you can plug your mp3 player into it and have the vibrations coincide with the beats of the song. I'm really tempted to test some Slipknot or Korn out since they're deep rifts and hope for deep vibrations.

I was watching the video on EdenFantasys that a community member uploaded and she was using hers to Michael Jackson's - The Way You Make Me Feel. lol... I don't know about you, but the thought of MJ making me moist, makes me want to vomit.

Now, I just need to charge this bad boy up and get the party started, but alas I've been getting more sex than normal so I haven't really had the urge, yet anyways, but I will soon since it piques my interest.

If you were to use this toy, what song would you want to test it out to? Would be interesting to see other's musical interests. Would you choose a song with slow beats to last longer, or fast pumping ones to get it over with? ;)

I think I kind of want to try some Miami Drum & Bass as well.... oh the possibilities are endless.

Dotted Delight from Good Vibrations

2011-08-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

Good Vibrations sent me the Dotted Delight aka my new favorite toy. Mother fucker this thing is awesome! I've used it a few times now and each time I have an incredibly intense orgasm.

Good Vibrations says that its measurements are: 7" x 1 1/2" (17.78 cm x 3.81 cm) and has a vibration volume of 2 with an intensity level of 3 (visit their site for the chart - http://www.goodvibes.com/content.jhtml?id=Vibrator-Intensity-Chart). Since it's 100% silicone it cleans up like most any other dildo. The toy comes with two replaceable waterproof mini bullets and 6 watch batteries. The batteries are protected so they do not arrive drained of power.

I first tried the Dotted Delight with only one bullet, the bottom one. I wanted more buzzz so of course I inserted the side bullet as well. The vibrations were perfect! It's powerful without being overwhelming. The bullets only have two settings, on and off. There are times when I prefer the simple on/off switch rather than trying to decide between six different vibration levels. It's also fairly quiet so that's a plus in my book too. My vag loved that the 'head' is slightly thicker than the rest of the shaft. The curve and thickness is very comparable to a real normal-sized penis. The nubs located on the lower portion of the shaft are a lot of fun. During my first test of the toy I found how wonderful those nubs felt on the inside of my pussy with just the slightest in and out movement. Good Vibrations suggests that you grind on these nubs for ultimate pleasure but I like how they felt without the grinding. I tried grinding on it a bit in the shower but it didn't delight me as much as it did in bed. If I were to use this toy on a girl I would definitely grind those nubs against her pussy. It seems like you could get better nub action if someone else held the toy for you. The nubs plus the dual bullet vibrations has made me cum so much that it takes a while to clean all my cream off the toy after each use. It was much easier to wash after using it in the shower. Thank you Good Vibrations for giving me such a wet pussy to clean up. I absolutely love the Dotted Delight; a purple piece of orgasmic heaven.

I'm Back Bitches!

2011-08-03T11:21:00.000-07:00

As you can see I made it back alive. But I was seriously freaked out on the plane the whole time, since we had a bit of turbulence from the thunderstorms we went through AND a rough landing. I didn't like taking off either and getting that heart in your stomach feeling like you get on a roller coaster. Don't get me wrong, I love coasters, but the thought of being in the air, thousands of feet off the ground is a little bit unnerving.

Las Vegas was fun to say the least, but staying there for 4 nights was a bit too long in my opinion. When we arrived at 8:55pm, we were picked up at the airport by our friends, checked into our hotel, dropped our shit off and went out the door to head to the Fremont Experience. I loved how everything was so close and lit up underneath the led light show on Fremont Street. I didn't see any big titted whores like I thought I would, but I'm not complaining. We go and head to a restaurant in one of the hotels along the old strip and have a steak dinner, since we didn't eat dinner and it was late. After that we head to Insert Coins for the EVO pre-party and it was packed, but the music was banging and people were gaming! I ended up getting pretty drunk on overpriced drinks, but hey it's all about having fun no matter how much you spend. The next morning I wake up and my boyfriend tells me he's going down to the casino in the hotel while I get ready. About a half hour later, he texts me and says he won $1200 and 2 free nights at the hotel. At first I didn't believe him, until I went down and seen for my own eyes. It was the first slot machine he played too, but he's always been very lucky when it comes to gambling. Probably because it's a rare occasion when he does. So basically our whole entire trip was FREE + some. We then decide that we're going to see the Jabbawockeez that night, and actually ended up getting better seats than we paid for, which was fucking awesome! We were in the 4th row, so we were up close and personal. They put on a really good show that keeps your attention the entire time and makes you laugh hysterically. Who would have thought they were funny AND good dancers? Saturday we spent most of the day walking along the strip, even got swollen feet and ankles to show for it. I looked like I had cankles since you couldn't see my ankle bone at all. Fuck an eh it wasn't pretty. I wanted to go to circus circus since they had an indoor amusement park and decided I was going to go on the loopty roller coaster. It was fast and fun -- couldn't even hold my head up straight with all the pressure. I then spot one of those 3 foot margarita drinks that my boyfriend has been wanting, that has a sling attached to the drink. So, I bought him a pretty purple one for $25. Fuck me in the goat ass. It was so sweet that we couldn't even finish it all, as they're pretty filling as well. We ended up carrying around a flask with rum in it, so that we could add our own alcohol to the drinks since most were pretty weak.

Then late that night, my boyfriends friend's girlfriend wanted to go to a strip joint since she's never been to one. (Hey, me either) But, I didn't want to go and watch my boyfriend oogling some sluts tits and vag while I'm sitting there being really uncomfortable, so I decided to stay at the hotel and get ready for bed since it was about 3am anyways. About 20 minutes later he comes back to the hotel and starts going off about how these women were sluts and gave him the creeps. He told me he only went to buy his friend a lap dance, but his friend and his g/f went into a back room with one of the dancers, so two of the strippers came over to my boyfriend and decided they were going to start grinding on him. He said no, I don't want a dance, but they were insisting. They were touching his thigh, taking his drink away from him and doing all the things he didn't want them to do. He said he felt really uncomfortable, drank his two drinks and told the bitches he was out. They told him that he owed them $20 each and he's like for what? So nice to hear that my boyfriend would rather come back to the hotel than be raped by two willing sluts who are hard up for cash. They even tried to get him to tell what hotel he was staying in. HA. Nasty bitches! I never seen him so completely freaked out like that, especially from a strip joint.

The next day we took it pretty mellow, did a little souvenir shopping for family. Don't know why since I'm still pissed at most, but don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt when I give one something and not the other. Fuck me for being nice. Then my boyfriend mentions that we should go to the Tournament of Kings dinner show. So we go and watch buff men strut their stuff on horses and sword fight and pretend to be King Arthur and the other Kings of numerous countries. It was great interaction and the meal was good. Nothing like eating a Cornish game hen, roasted red potatoes, broccoli and a biscuit with your fingers! Also had soup, dessert and a glass of wine, so I was pleasantly plump that evening. It was fun though and would be great to take kids to if you happen to take them to Las Vegas.

After we were done there, we decided to go chill in the hotel with the friends and finish off our open booze since we had to leave in the early morning. We didn't get out of there until about 1:30 and we had to get up at 4:30 to get to the airport. (next time we're picking better flight times, even if it is 30 dollars more) So I decide fuck it, I'm just going to stay up all night since there's no point in falling asleep for a couple hours and being more tired because of it. I wanted to play the slot machines too since this one machine my boyfriend was on kept hitting quite frequently. They were small amounts, but still better than nothing. So I get on the quarter machine and bet two, which is the highest it goes and ended up winning 15 off of 10 dollars. I was like sweet, so I go cash it out and put the 20 in my pocket and play a $5. I ended up hitting 10 right away and then a few pulls after that I hit 80. It was my first time hitting anything over $12, so I was a bit ecstatic and decided to cash that out and head over to my boyfriend where he tells me he won about $300 on the dollar machine again. We literally made out like bandits the time we were there, well more so my boyfriend since he's a lucky shithead, but it was exciting.

We were so tired since we didn't get home til about 11am, but we're caught up on sleep and I'm ready to get things back into gear!

How was your guys' weekend?

Heading to Vegas, Won't Be Back and Live until Tuesday!

2011-07-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

So So tired, headed to the airport tomorrow around 3 for Vegas. Still have to get some shit packed and then do last minute prepping. Going to be a long day tomorrow and hopefully we'll end it with a bang!

I personally won't be around to post until at least Tuesday, so don't expect any updates until then.

Twilight Dual Ball Vibrator - Guest Review

2011-07-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

Guest Post By: Rock that Mommy

I have never owned or used a massager before so I definitely wanted to try the Twilight Dual Ball Vibrator out on TabuToys. I received it very quickly, and wanted to test it out immediately but upon inspection noticed that the company who sent it put the wrong size batteries with it. So that required me going out and replacing batteries.. Let's just say I didn't get to use it for a few days.

The one thing I like about this massager is it's power. I literally used it on all my aches and tension, and it's been amazing. I've been battling super painful headaches for the last 2 months, and the doctor are clueless as to what's causing it, but told me my neck muscles are very tight and tense, so I had my fiance use it on my neck and it felt so relaxing. I didn't realize how tight my neck was until after using this. We took turns using it on each other all over our bodies, and are very happy with this thing. I personally think it works better then anybody's hands.

I do have to say I prefer this as a massager, and not so much as an intimate massager. I think it's just too big, and I was becoming more numb, than satisfied. It could have been the speed as well, since the lowest setting is a little too much for me. I will be keeping this as our sensual body massager so we can workout our sore achy muscles and joints or just give each other a nice body massage. It does put you in the mood!

If this doesn't interest you, TabuToys carries many vibrators, dildos and numerous other sex toys for all your needs.

MyHabit is Like Crack (Get Free Items Tomorrow Morning!)

2011-07-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I know some of you have children out there, so I wanted to let you in on a little secret about possible free clothing. There's also been some mens free items as well that I've scored for my boyfriend, which makes it all the sweeter. The website is called MyHabit and it's Amazon's flash sale site, which is similar to Gilt and all the other million daily deal sites out there. The thing is, it's pretty popular right now because there's a $25 off code (SUMMER25 and/or INTLSHIP) making a lot of items absolutely FREE with FREE SHIPPING. Items usually arrive rather quickly too!

You use your Amazon account as your log in information and can only use each code once per account. The sales go live everyday, including weekends at 9am PST/ 12pm EST. Be sure to log in a few minutes ahead of time, so you can get your mouse clicking finger ready as things go fast, I'm talking real fast, so don't be picky. If you don't get anything tomorrow, you can always try the next day and so on, until AUG 1st when the code expires.

Good luck all and hope you score some free shit!

Up to 85% Off Clearance Again at Torrid!!

2011-07-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

I know a couple people appreciated this when I posted about it last time, so here I am posting again since I'm addicted to shopping and want to share the good deals with those who love Torrid too!

If you wear sizes 12-28 in bottoms and sizes 12-32 in tops, they have you covered!

I like these, I think I might snag em!

This camisole is $11.99, with the $10 off code (BTDM0611) it's $1.99 + 8 shipping, so it's like getting shipping for free and a couple dollars off price.

Black Lace Inset Belted Cowl Neck Sweater - $17.99 - $10 off code = $7.99

Black and White Polka Dot Ruched Cami - $14.99 - $10 off code = $4.99

Z. Cavaricci Couture - Black One Shoulder Lace Trim Ruched Top - $18.69 - $10 = $8.69

Silver and Grey Pearl Cluster Necklace - $5.99 (need 10.01 minimum to use code)

Long Double Grey Pearl Necklace - $5.99

I'm for sure getting the 2 necklaces since I desperately need some to add to my attire and it's not a bad deal. Anyways those are just the things that caught my eye, you can go check the sale out for yourself!

Fuck You in the Pooper

2011-07-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have not posted in a few days, but I've been kind of pissed off because of family shit, more like parent shit since they're acting like delusional 5 year olds. So I've been trying to calm down, clear my head and put better thoughts on my conscious. Like the good ol fun I'll be having when I leave for Vegas Thursday.

All of this shit has really put a damper on my mood and has caused me to have some really fucked up dreams. The dreams I always had used to be of my moms boyfriend trying to kill me, but this time it was my mother because she says we're making up shit in our heads of how he used to treat us. Every time I brought it up in my dream she would start stabbing me. So I think it's best I just try to avoid talking, seeing and or hearing anything about them, possibly forever. It will keep me the sanest possible.

How's everyone else's week been? Hopefully better than mine.

Are Orgasms More Pleasurable For Women Than Men?

2011-07-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

I can't help but ask this question since my boyfriend says its sounds way more pleasurable on our end than on theirs. With all the loud moaning and omg, omg, omgz. Why would god not create our pleasure spots equally? Is it because he knows we deserve it more? After all we're the ones having to push giant melon headed babies out of our twat, we might as well get something more out of it.

I was watching taxi cab confessions the other night (it's like crack) and there was a transexual on there with his boyfriend and he had undergone surgery to become female. Of course the sex question was brought up and, he said that sex as a man does not compare to sex now as a female. So maybe you guys really did get the shitty end of the stick.

I feel bad,

... not really. ;)

P.S. if there are any transexuals out there who have undergone surgery to become a woman, can you confirm this to be true or not? We'll give you cookies, warm chocolate chip cookies.

Suicide Girl of the Week - Unknown

2011-07-18T16:09:00.000-07:00

Since I don't feel like messing with my scanner right now, I decided to post this hot totty -- however I don't know her name. So if you do, feel inclined to leave a comment, so we all know. ;)

11 Bad Types of Boobies!

2011-07-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

Everyone loves boobies, and the saying goes "Once you seen one, you have to see them all". Or does that only pertain to attractive tits? Let's find out as we go through 11 different types of bad boobies!

First up is the Saggers. Sometimes it's nearly impossible to avoid sagging, especially as we get older and our skin becomes more elastic. But you can help prevent it by wearing a god damn push up bra. Is that then false advertising?

Next up is the pancakes, not to be confused with the saggers. This usually results when you lose a bunch of weight... Kind of like a fossil -- they're evidence that there was once cleavage where there are now sad, floppy, forgotten bags of nothingness.

Now you have the Bolt-ons

I wonder if her kids ask to play with her balls attached to her chest...

Then you have the lopsiders

This is what happens when you get a boob job in Mexico.

And then the Sausage Link or Poke an Eye Out nipples

You'd think a bra would hide everything, but not these nipple cutters. First time I seen sausage link nipples, I was scarred and prayed that I would never get them.

Then you get the wreck

No one likes a dented car, let alone a dented boobie.

and ones so big you call them manslaughter

Then you have the girls with no boobs at all, we call them the Justin Beiber's

And you have the guys, sorry men we can't leave you out either. Just say no to the Moobs.

China doll chiffon babydoll review

2011-07-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

EdenFantasys indulged my desire to play dress up when Jenn ordered me a few items. The China doll chiffon baby doll is a cute lingerie set that comes with matching panties. (I don't have any pictures of myself to share but I'm not sure I would anyway. ) The panties are simply see through and I'm not sharing my vag on here at the moment. The fabric is 100% nylon according to the tag and the panties are a mesh which is why they are see though. The under-wire cups are interesting because they aren't padded but they still give you a nice rounded oompfness that breasts need in order to look sexy. They have the same mesh lining on the inside as the panties but also a outer decorative lace-like lining that you can see in the picture. They have sturdy feeling wires that don't poke out in the slightest. The wire seams are thick and protect the wires from poking your boobs. The shoulder straps are easily adjustable. The frog closure in the front takes some getting used to but that was easy compared to the adjustable side straps. I still haven't figured out what they do. There are two long elastic straps attached to the inside cups. If you cinch them tighter then you give your bosoms a little boost too. I could not find a way to keep them in place.

The model in the picture has them crisscrossed in front but where the heck are they fastened?! I couldn't figure it out so I let them hang by my sides. My Darling thought the outfit was very sexy. He liked how the fabric was all ruffled in the back. I liked the entire piece but those side straps annoyed me. I'll be getting creative with them the next time I wear this red hot number and thanks to EdenFantasys for carrying it!

Sex Position of the Day - "Side Saddle"

2011-07-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

How to accomplish this position:

He lies on his back, with both legs slightly bent and pointing upward. She straddles his body side-ways, mounting his erect penis when doing so. She uses her knees to keep herself stable. She turns her back slightly so that it is angled towards his face, and she takes him for one wild ride!

"What's in it for her"
- You take hold of the reins in this lusty position! You will determine the tempo, depth, and motion. Try teasing him by pulling yourself up high so that his penis is hovering at the entrance then circle around and plunge deep. Or, gyrate for a minute then switch to quick up-and-down movements, then go deep.

"What's in it for him"
- You get to lie back and enjoy the ride! If you're feeling frisky, you can raise your pelvis to add a little bucking action, but otherwise you can just relish the view of her bobbing ass. She's directing this horse, and you're going wherever she points you.

10 Famous Women With Curves!

2011-07-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

Curves are ideal amongst all women and I absolutely love these ladies and their fabulous curves. They're almost to die for! Hey, I said almost...

Plus, according to a documented survey, men actually prefer women with curves and voluptuous butts. Bye Bye stick girls and flat asses, it's time you eat a big mac or two!!

Christina Hendricks

Kim Kardashian

Marylin Monroe

Queen Latifah

Kate Winslet

Christina Aguilera

Beyonce

Catherine Zeta Jones (before 2010)
her hips seemed to have magically disappeared.

Scarlett Johansson

Shakira

(my boyfriends celebrity crush)

"Treeze" - Wood Oak Vibrator Review

2011-07-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

Since I had never had a wood toy, I figured why not try it. So I ordered the Treeze Wood Oak Vibrator from TabuToys. It arrived in a typical hard plastic wrapping and came with a velvety, cotton padded sack for safe and discreet storage.

I inserted the 2 double a batteries that come with the item for your convenience and noticed that it had a loud buzz to it. Almost like you're using a chainsaw to cut down a tree. It didn't bother me since I no longer have a roommate, but if I did, I'd surely not want to use it too often if he happened to be around at the time.

The vibrator is made up of wood/urethane hybrid material, which creates an ultra smooth, nonporous, phthalates free surface that is lubricant friendly and is waterproof. Because the fibers of the wood are saturated with urethane resin and are cured under pressure and at high temperature, you can rest assured that there will be no splintering.

I liked the fact that this vibrator had a typical penis shaped head to it, however, with it being hard, it was not very comfortable. The protruding rings around the wood vibrator were a little bigger than pictured, which was also not very comfortable upon insertion. So instead of trying to get myself off vaginally since it just wasn't doing it for me, I decided to just rub it back and forth on my vulva and clit until the powerful vibrations brought me to climax, which wasn't too long after. It has 4 different speed settings that I noticed and a few different pulsating patterns, one of which started going slow and light, and ended up powerful and deep, sending you into a euphoric bliss.

Overall this didn't work as intended "for me", but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be pleasurable for someone else. I loved it for the vibrator part, but not for vaginal penetration. Make sure you like ribbed toys before considering this one, as it's definitely a bumpy ride!

Thenice folks at TabuToys.comsent me the Treeze Wood Oak Vibrator free of charge, in exchange foran honest review of the product. TabuToys.comoffers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations.And to help you pick out just the right sex toy, dildo or vibrator you’vebeen looking for, they offer an excellent Sex Toy Quiz.

Hell Yes, Our Page Rank is now 4!!

2011-07-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

I'm completely shocked that we went from Page Rank 1 to Page Rank 4 from the previous update to the current update that happened on June 27th 2011! That's a serious accomplishment on not only my part, but on those who have helped contribute to the wet spot. Some people may say that a page rank doesn't matter anymore, but PR is what advertisers and big wig companies look at to see if your site is good enough to advertise for them. We all like making money and getting free shit right? Right!

So really, I thank you all for helping us improve our blogging skills and thanks to those of you who have stumbled upon us and stuck around. I'm going to try and keep up on the unique content and frequent posts, even though it's summer and it's probably going to be painstakingly difficult. I think all it took was a blog about sex, since my main "deal" blog only got bumped up to rank 2. What the fuck is wrong with that picture? Just goes to show, that people like sex more than spending money or I just completely suck at it.

Nothing wrong with a little sucky sucky though.

If you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about here with the page rank stuff, then you should probably head straight to Wikipedia right now and read about it. If you'd like to find out if you have a rank, then you can go to PRChecker and see.

So, did any of you see a bump in this new update?